I’m a Wild Dreamer. Are You?

Wild Dreamer

Wild Dreamer

I have a confession to make.

I’m a wild dreamer.

Let me explain…

Earlier this year, I had a wild dream.

I dreamed of a life of fun and freedom.

I dreamed of more time with my daughter.

I dreamed of working for myself and being my own boss.

I decided that the way to pursue these wild dreams, was to leave the stability of my full time job.

This may not sound all that wild to you.

But for me, it was.

You see, my paycheck gave me validation.

My daily routine gave me structure.

My career gave me safety.

But, I’m a wild dreamer.

So I left the familiar in search of the unknown.

And it hasn’t been as easy as I thought it would be. In fact, at times it’s been really freaking hard.

When I left my job, I lost the identity that I associated myself with and defined myself by.

Having a full time job was comfortable. It gave me something to do everyday. It filled my life with meaning. It made me feel like I was contributing to society, and to my household.

Without this outside source of validation, I’ve had to find a new sense of self worth; one that comes from within. And that has been tricky.

There is nothing in this life that I love more than being a mother. But being home with my toddler 24/7 can be intense.

I’ve been bringing my daughter to daycare 2 days a week. I tell myself that she needs and thrives on the socialization… but if I’m honest with myself, the truth is that I also need that break.

Not having my own steady stream of income coming in has also been an adjustment. I’ve always been financially independent, and now I feel like I need to ask my husband for money. This too, has been challenging.

Without a job to define myself by, I’ve had to find my new identity. This part may be the most difficult of all.

I am home with my daughter most of the time, but I’m hesitant to say I’m a stay at home mom.

I work on my blog religiously, but I don’t always think of myself as a blogger.

I coach clients through my private and group coaching programs, but I don’t always think of myself as a life coach.

I write a weekly newsletter, but I don’t always call myself a writer.

Basically, I’ve been playing small.

I’ve been scared to label myself.

I’ve been feeling lost as I figure out this new life stage.

But, I’m a wild dreamer.

And I know that I’m meant to live life on my own terms.

And that means setting an example for my daughter…

By fully living out my life’s purpose.

I know with every ounce of my being that I am here to help and encourage other mothers to find their purpose, and live out their own wild dreams…

So that they can set an example for their own sons and daughters.

We need to show our children that their own wild dreams are theirs for the taking…

And this starts by having the courage to go after our own dreams, hopes, and desires.

The first step to actualizing our dreams is to declare them out loud.

So today, I’m declaring that I’m a wild dreamer, yes, but also…

I am a blogger, I am a life coach. I am a writer.

I am a wild dreamer.

I dream of a life that is more play than work.

I dream of family adventures.

I dream of a marriage based on love, devotion, and romance.

I dream of being the type of mother that my daughter wants to be around.

I dream of time and location freedom.

I dream of playing outside everyday.

I dream of fully inhabiting and enjoying my one wild and precious life.

I dream of stepping out into the world as the blogger, life coach, writer, wife, mother, and woman that I am here to be.

And I’m ready now.

Want to join me?

We are all wild dreamers.

We are the dream weavers, and it’s time to make our dreams a reality.

Your wild dreams may not look like mine.

In fact, they probably don’t.

But I know you have them.

What wild dreams do you dream of?

What do you think about, dream about, yearn for?

What have you been wishing for, perhaps not even admitting to yourself?

What desires are whispering to you, trying to be heard?

Remember, the first step to creating your dreams, is to declare them out loud.

What are your wild dreams?

Please share in the comments below! Let’s support one another in rising up and making our dreams a reality.

Dream big and have a beautiful week.

Be well,
Ambar

 

Stop Waiting for Perfect

Stop Waiting for PerfectEarlier this week, I had an experience that reminded me how important it is to make the most of the present moment, and stop putting off our desires by waiting for the perfect time.

It started on a trip to Trader Joe’s. They always have the best flowers there, and I love having fresh flowers in my home. However, I usually only buy flowers when our house has recently been straightened up and cleaned. We are fortunate enough to have someone that comes to clean for us once a month, and then the rest of the time we keep up with the daily maintenance. As a result of mom life with a toddler, after the first week or two of our house being cleaned, clutter starts to pile up, and crumbs start to creep in over the house. I usually don’t buy flowers during these weeks, because I tell myself I should wait until the house is clean and tidy.

But, this week, I realized that this is a ridiculous way to think. By only buying flowers for the one week a month that my house is perfectly clean, I am depriving myself of having flowers for the remaining 3 weeks! Pretty silly right?

So, I bought the flowers. I came home and arranged them in my favorite pitcher. I cleared all of the clutter off of our dining room table and moved it someplace else. As I set down the flowers, I noticed that my daughter’s little fingerprints were all over the table and chairs, but then she started to call from me from the next room, so I didn’t get a chance to wipe them off. And so, the flowers stayed on the perfectly imperfect table.

And you know what? They are perfectly fine there. I’ve been admiring these flowers every time I walk past them all week. I am sitting at the table enjoying them as I write this blog post. They have served as a little reminder of beauty in my imperfect world.

If I had waited to buy the flowers when my house was clean and perfect, I would just be settling for having a dirty house with no flowers now.

This experience got me thinking, and I started wondering what other things in my life I’ve been putting off, waiting to do them when things are “perfect”. This is something we all do. Does any of this sound familiar to you?:

“I’ll go on more date nights with my husband when our baby is older.”

“I’ll use the good china when I have a party.”

“I’ll wear my new dress when I have somewhere special to go.”

“I’ll quit my job when I have more money saved up.”

“I’ll start my own business when my kids are in school.”

“I’ll go out dancing when I have a partner.”

“I’ll cut my hair short when I lose 10 lbs.”

“I’ll eat healthier when I’m less stressed out.”

“I’ll buy a nicer couch when my children are older.”

“I’ll run my first 5k when I have more time.”

We all do this. And the thing is, by waiting for the perfect moment to do these things that we want to do,  we miss out on enjoying our lives to the fullest RIGHT NOW.

Our lives are happening right now, in this very moment. Your life is what’s happening right now, as you are reading this. When we wait for the perfect opportunity to do the things our hearts desire, we are missing out on getting the most out of our precious lives right now. We are putting off enjoying our lives to the fullest. We are missing out on opportunities to care for ourselves and feel as good as we possibly can. We are saying that we do not deserve to be loving our lives as we are living them.

This has to stop.

There is no perfect moment to go after your dreams and desires. The perfect moment is now.

Stop waiting. Buy the flowers now.

What have you been putting off in your life, waiting for the perfect moment? I would love to hear in the comments below.

Have a beautiful week.

Be well,
Ambar

 

 

 

 

5 Ways to Celebrate your Freedom this Independence Day

5 Ways to Embrace your Freedom this Independence Day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi friends! This weekend we are celebrating Independence Day in the United States. As a married mother to a toddler, the words “independence” and “freedom” might not be the first thing that comes to mind to describe my lifestyle. But the truth is that I have never felt more free. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that freedom is less about being able to fly by the seat of my pants, and more about being intentional and recognizing that I have a choice in the way that I choose to life my life.

By living my life in the ways that feel good to me, I am able to embrace freedom like never before.

Here are 5 ways that you can celebrate your freedom this weekend!

1. Choose Joy

This might sound a little bit cheesy, but the first step to celebrating your freedom is recognizing that you always have the choice to decide how you want to feel. No matter what is going on around you, you can choose to focus on joy.

So for example, say that it’s early in the morning and your toddler starts having a meltdown before even making it through breakfast. You can use that as an excuse to let the rest of your day spiral downhill. Or, you can decide to choose joy instead. Maybe your child needs a little fresh air, so you might decide to bring your breakfast outside and then play for a few moments. The change in scenery might be the exact perspective change you needed to choose joy instead of chaos.

Remember that there is always a choice to be made, and try to choose joy as often as you can.

2. Create White Space in your Calendar

Creating white space in your calendar simply means having certain blocks of time where you don’t have anything planned. When your schedule is filled to the brim, you can quickly start to feel overwhelmed by all of your activities and feel like you’ve lost your freedom. Creating white space in your calendar leaves you time to relax, be spontaneous, and go with the flow. This creates the feeling of freedom!

3. Do What You Love

Long weekends are the perfect excuse to make time for doing more of what you love. Whether it’s going swimming, going shopping and taking advantage of some good sales, or taking a nap on your couch, focus on doing what you love this weekend and you will feel even more free!

4. Be With Your Loved Ones

Freedom is nothing without love. Having freedom can be lonely if you don’t have anyone to spend your time with. On this holiday weekend, carve out some time to create special memories with your loved ones. Go to parties, plan some adventures, and have fun!

5. Take Time to Unplug

Electronics can quickly suck up our time and freedom. Being on our phones all day can be a huge distraction from the freedom we are trying to celebrate! We are not free when we are attached to the cyber world. Take some time this weekend to unplug and be fully present with those you love while doing the things you love. Have some screen-free family time, go outside and enjoy being out in the real world instead of focused on what’s happening on social media. By resisting the urge to check your phone, you will feel even more free than ever before.

I hope that you find these ideas helpful! Which of these will you be trying this weekend? I am going to focus extra hard on unplugging from my phone and enjoying extra family time with Angelo and June.

Happy 4th of July friends! Celebrate your freedom and embrace all of the love in your life.

Be well,
Ambar

8 Ways to Love Your Beach Body (Regardless of What it Looks Like)

How to Love your Beach Body

Hi friends! I have a little bit of a personal and somewhat vulnerable topic this week. If you’ve been following this blog for awhile, you may know that I live in a beach town and I ADORE the beach; it is my happy place. Now that summer is getting into swing, my little beach town is livening up and my family and I have a lot of beach days on the agenda. One of the perks of living in a beach town is that we often get visitors dropping by during the summertime to get together with us and go to the beach.

Recently, I noticed that whenever friends would reach out wanting to get together at the beach, I wasn’t as excited about it as I usually I am. I started to get curious about this… clearly I love going to the beach, so what was the problem? I realized that my hesitation was because I’ve been feeling a little self-conscious about being out and about in my bathing suit.

I felt really disturbed to discover that I felt this way. You see, when I gave birth to my daughter two years ago, I started to really love my body and feel more empowered in it than I ever had before. I was in amazement that my body had been able to create my beautiful, healthy baby girl and continue to provide nourishment for her. I recognized my body’s true purpose and all of the feelings of self consciousness that I had carried with me for much of my adult life simply fell away. It was great!

At this time, I also vowed to myself that now that I was raising a daughter, I would never let her hear me speaking poorly about my body, or mistreating it in anyway, because I know that she will learn how to treat her own body by witnessing how I treat mine.

So, I was surprised to see that some of these old feelings have recently resurfaced. And I quickly decided to do something about it.

I am willing to bet that I am not the only woman who feels uncomfortable in their bathing suit, so I want to share the steps that I’m taking to learn to love my beach body, in hopes that it is helpful to you too!

How to Love your Beach Body

Prep Work

There are many things that we can do on a daily basis to start feeling more comfortable in our bodies. If you have a beach day planned, you can start using the following tips to build up your body love.

1. Take Good Care of Yourself

I find that when I am feeling the most self conscious about my body, it’s because I haven’t been taking very good care of it. Treat your body well by drinking enough water, making healthy food choices, and making time to move your body in ways that feel good to you, each and everyday.

2. Thank your Body

Think about all of the things your body does for you and begin to thank it for it. For example: “Thank you arms for being strong enough to hold my daughter. Thank you legs for allowing me to enjoy walks to the beach everyday. Thank you hands for letting me cook, write, type, and hold hands with my loved ones. Thank you body for sustaining a healthy pregnancy and feeding my baby. Thank you for letting me taste delicious foods. Thank you for letting me smell my husband’s cologne. Thank you for keeping me alive. I am grateful and I love you.” You can do this in a journal, in your head, or for an extra powerful exercise, try looking at yourself in the mirror and saying these words out loud.

3. Sleep Naked

There is something about sleeping naked that makes us feel more sensual and connected to our bodies and more at home in our skin. If you are not ready to sleep naked, invest in a silky or soft nightgown that feels luxurious on your skin. I promise this will be a gamechanger!

4. Treat Yourself

Treat yourself by getting a manicure and pedicure, a bikini wax, or a massage! These small treats feel great and pampering ourselves goes a long way to making us feel well cared for and relaxed.

5. Buy a Bathing Suit + Cover-up that you Love

There are tons of cute bathing suits for every level of modesty. I always liked wearing two piece bathing suits, but always felt like I had to be walking around sucking my stomach in! Once I made the switch to a one piece I haven’t looked back! I have so many nice cover-ups and cute strapless bathing suits in bright colors that make me feel happy and cover up the areas I’m most self conscious about. I suggest that you do the same! If you are feeling frumpy or like you need to hide in your bathing suit, that is not going to help you love your body! So buy a suit and cover-up that makes you feel good!

Bonus: Accessorize!  A fun hat and big sunglasses can show off your style and add a boost of confidence!

How to Love your Beach Body Now

The Day Of

Now that you have done your prep work it’s time to head to the beach! The following tips will help you enjoy your beach day without being consumed by what you look like.

6. Indulge in your Senses

When you get to the beach, take some time to really take it all in. Being surrounded by nature has been proven to decrease stress so make sure that you take time to appreciate your surroundings. Take some deep breaths and feel the warmth of the sunshine on your skin. Listen to the waves crashing and the sounds of children playing. Taste the saltwater on your lips. Feel the sand underneath your toes and look at the beauty of the ocean. Admire it all and soak it in with all of your senses.

7. Smile

A smile makes everything better. By having a joyful attitude, laughing, and smiling, you ensure that people will remember you as the happy woman enjoying herself instead of as the unhappy weirdo hiding underneath the beach umbrella! And let’s get honest… we are each our own worst critic, and no one is paying that much attention to you anyway!

8. Focus on Having Fun

Focus on having fun instead of on what you look like. When we are having good experiences, we get lost in the moment and don’t have time to feel self conscious! So make sure to have fun! Go swimming, play with your kids, make sand castles and toss Frisbees! A beach day is supposed to be fun, not stressful, so take the time to enjoy it and make some happy memories!

How to Love your Beach Body regardless of How it LooksI hope that you find these tips useful and helpful! I have started using them myself and can already feel my self consciousness starting to slip away.

There are so many women struggling with their body image and letting their self consciousness stop them from enjoying themselves as much as they could be. This is is such an important topic to talk openly about so that we can join together and know that we are not alone, and that we are committed to ending our body struggles.

Which of these tips will you be trying for your next beach day? I would love to know in the comments below!

Wishing you a week of body love.

Be well,
Ambar

P.S. Do you want more help learning to love your beach body? Sign up below to get the free Body Love Daily Planner!

How to Take Responsibility for Yourself and Learn to Love Your Life

How to Take Responsibility for Yourself and Learn to Love Your Life

Hi friends! If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, or you follow me on social media, then you know I’m a pretty positive person. I truly love life and try to always focus on the good stuff.

But, this wasn’t always the case. I have learned to greatly appreciate all of the wonderful things in my life, because I spent many years being stuck in darkness. For many years, I felt like life was just happening to me, and that I was a victim of my circumstances.

It wasn’t until I learned to take responsibility for myself that my life started to change for the better, and little by little I’ve become one of the happiest people I know.

Learning to take responsibility for my life helped me end a dysfunctional relationship and create space for the amazing marriage I now have.

It helped me stop drinking, smoking, and numbing myself from the world, and instead start experiencing life as it is meant to be experienced.

It allowed me to stop making excuses and move to the beach where I always wanted to live.

It lead me to decide that the time was right to become a mother even though it felt out of my comfort zone at the time.

It guided me to start this blog and start doing work to support other women.

It helped me decide that working full time was no longer right for me and guided me to quit my job to focus more on my family and other interests.

Learning to take responsibility for myself has become my guidance system. It has helped me develop trust in myself and my intuition and know that it will never lead me wrong.

But, it is not always easy. Taking responsibility for ourselves requires us to make massive decisions that are not always easy to make. It means taking complete ownership of our lives and deciding that we will not be victims to our circumstances. Many times, it means we have to step outside of our comfort zone and do things that feel hard.

Taking responsibility for yourself is not always about major life changing decisions like making a big move or having a child. It is a decision you make everyday. Taking responsibility for yourself might mean having a difficult conversation, setting some boundaries, or taking better care of yourself. It is about taking ownership over the kind of life you want to live and the way that you want to feel.

Taking responsibility for yourself means knowing that you alone have complete power over your feelings, thoughts, and actions.

I’ve developed a 5 step process for taking responsibility for ourselves and improving our lives. Follow the steps below and you will be well on your way to living the life you desire.

1) Notice how you feel.

Our feelings are our central guidance system. When we feel good, it is because we are on the right track. When we start to feel a little off, it is often because we are not listening to our desires and needs. For me, my go-to feeling is anxiety. Anytime I notice that I am feeling anxious, it is usually a sign that things aren’t working in some aspect of my life. Anxiety is the feeling that comes up most often for me, but for you it might be anger, sadness, or even dissatisfaction. Noticing that you are not feeling as good as you would like to feel is the first step to making positive changes.

2) Pay attention to how you are talking to yourself.

When times get tough, it’s easy to find ourselves wallowing in negativity. Paying attention to the words we use to describe ourselves and our current situation is the next step towards change. Even during challenging times, phrases like “I’m so anxious”, “I feel terrible”, or “This sucks” aren’t particularly helpful. If you find yourself repeating these negative phrases over and over, guess where that will get you? Yep, you will end up feeling anxious, terrible, and stuck in a sucky situation. Watch your words, because the stories we tell ourselves become our reality.

3) Change your words.

Now that we’ve noticed the negative thoughts we’ve been having, and the stories we have been telling yourself, it’s time to switch them into something more proactive. So, instead of saying “I’m so anxious”, you might say “I am managing my anxiety in creative ways.” Instead of “I feel terrible”, you might try, “I find small ways to feel good everyday”, and instead of “This sucks”, you might say “I am doing my best during a difficult situation.” Do you notice how much more empowering these words are? Make these new phrases your mantras, and repeat them to yourself over and over again until you start to believe them.

4) Focus on what you can control.

Many times, when we are facing challenges, we start to feel out of control. Many of life’s biggest challenges are completely out of our control, yet we spend so much time and energy fixating on these things that we cannot change. The best thing to do is to focus on what you CAN control. Even in the most seemingly hopeless situations, there is always something that is within our control. Sometimes, we may not be able to control the things that happen to us, but we can control the way we react, and the ways in which we choose to participate in our lives.

Noticing that there are parts of our lives that we CAN control, and taking ultimate control of them, is the best way to feel better during challenging situations.

5) Make the necessary changes.

At this point, you have recognized that you are feeling a little off, changed your self-talk, and noticed what is not working in your life. Now that you have this awareness, it’s time to make some changes.

For me, many times, the necessary changes that I need to make start with taking better care of myself. No matter what my circumstances, I can always make sure that I take a little bit of time for myself each day, and take good care of myself by meditating, exercising, and eating well so that I don’t make my anxiety even worse. I can talk to a coach, a therapist, or my husband about my feelings instead of keeping them all bottled up inside.

After my self care needs are being met, I am in a stronger mind space to make any bigger changes that need to happen in order for me to live the life of my dreams.

By being purely reactive to life circumstances, we quickly feel hopeless. Being proactive about the things within our control is the only way to live a happy and healthy life.

I have used this 5 step process to get me through many difficult times in life, and I know that they will continue to help me. I hope that this process is helpful to you as well.

Take responsibility for yourself, your feelings, and your actions, and your life will inevitably improve.

Be well,
Ambar

P.S. If you are noticing that you need to make some changes in your life, I would love to work with you to support you in taking the necessary steps. Working with me as a life coach means that you have me in your corner for support and encouragement. A life coach is a non-judgmental person who helps you look at your circumstances in new ways and pushes you to make the changes necessary to live your best life. If this sounds like something you’re interested in, I’d love to be that person for you! Fill out the contact form below, or send me an email to mamabirdwellnest@gmail.com for more information.

 

Don’t Make things happen, Let them happen

Don't Make things Happen, Let them Happen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

During the last couple of weeks, as I launched my program for new moms, I was reminded of a really valuable lesson that I’m now applying to all areas of my life. It is a total game-changer, so I wanted to share it with you!

I had never publicly launched a program in this way before. Sure, I have been leading groups like this, but I have worked mainly by referrals and direct connections. This was my first time really advertising my program and putting myself out there publicly.

Launching a program in this way is kind of a crazy thing. It requires you to keep talking about your services over and over again without really knowing if anyone is listening, or if it will resonate with the people who need you. I went into my launch with an idea of a certain number of new moms that I wanted to join my program. The first few days, I was really anxious wondering if what I was sharing would attract the right people into my program. As the week progressed, I knew that I had to let go of my anxiety. I realized that all I could do was continue to share about my program and trust that the right women would be led to it at the right time for them. As soon as I was able to let go of my need to control the outcome, I felt peaceful. I was able to enjoy interacting with the women reading my posts, and feel the encouragement of the many friends and acquaintances who supported me throughout this process. It felt good! And, I now have a wonderful group of women in this program! It all worked out, in the right way, at the right time.

This got me realizing, that this wasn’t the first time in my life that I experienced the power of surrendering. When I got pregnant with my daughter, at first I was really anxious. I worried as to whether my body would be able to sustain a healthy pregnancy and I really stressed myself out about it. As my pregnancy progressed, I slowly started to trust in the process more. I started meditating and journaling daily, and focused on formed a connection with the baby that was growing inside me. I let go of my need to know that everything would work out a certain way, and instead surrendered to the process. As a result, I was able to experience a really peaceful and joyful pregnancy, and I know that I will always remember that sacred time when I learned to trust in the process.

I can continue applying this to every area of my life today.

We are currently in the beginning stages of potty training our daughter. I know that there is no way that I can make her potty train. All that I can do is continue offering the opportunity and trust that she will figure it out when the time is right for her. I can’t force it, I have to let it happen.

This also applies to my marriage. I am fortunate to have a really great husband, and we have a really solid connection…. most of the time. At times, we get caught up in the daily routine and there are days where I feel a little disconnected. But again, I know that there is no way that I can make my husband act a certain way towards me. All that I can do is treat him in the way that I want to be treated, let go of the outcome, and let him respond accordingly.

I am also using this concept with my health. I would really like to lose 10lbs in order to be at the weight where I feel my best. But, I know that I cannot force my body to lose 10lbs. All I can do is nourish myself with healthy food and make time each day to be more active. Then, I have to trust the process and let the weight come off on its own.

As you can see, the idea of letting things happen, rather than making them happen, applies in all areas of life: from motherhood, to marriage, to health and career. All that we can do is put forth some effort, and do our part in reaching our goals. We can keep showing up day after day taking small steps in the direction that we want to go, and towards feeling the ways that we want to feel. But, there comes a point where we have to just let go, trust, and allow.

What have you been trying to force in your own life? How can you start to let it happen, instead of making it happen? Let me know in the comments below!

Wishing you a week of trust + surrender.

Be well,
Ambar

3 Keys to Being a Happy Mama

How to Be a Happy Mama

 

For as long as I can remember, if you asked me what I wanted most out of life, my answer would be “to be happy”. After struggling with anxiety and depression for most of my adolescence and young adulthood, happiness became my ultimate goal. I worked hard to achieve happiness, and I am proud to say that I figured out how to become one of the happiest people I know.

Motherhood has brought a new level of joy to my life. It has filled me with a sense of purpose; an inner knowing that being a mother is what I was brought here to do. But learning to be a happy mother, also took some work. With my program for new moms, New Mama Bird Circle, starting this week, I’ve been reflecting on my experience as a mother thus far. I’ve realized that I can sum up what it takes to be a happy mama in 3 words: Contemplation, Connection, & Contribution.

Contemplation

Contemplation refers to time spent alone in stillness. Time spent in contemplation can include prayer and/or meditation. The most important part, is that it is time spent by ourselves, with our own inner wisdom. As mothers, our lives are noisy and busy. There is a constant hustle and bustle to our days. In order for us to be in balance, we need to make a commitment to having quiet time in our lives. This gives us an opportunity to get in touch with our own desires, hopes, and dreams. It gives us space to reflect on what’s working for us, and on what’s not. It helps us relieve stress, and have time to be alone with our thoughts, without thinking about anyone else’s expectations of us. Time spent in quiet stillness and contemplation is important for everyone, and it is especially vital to us mothers.

Connection

As much as alone time is important for us, so is Connection. As humans, we desire deep connection. We all want to feel loved, supported, and cared for. As mothers, we are natural givers. We need to feel loving connection in our lives, and experience relationships that go both ways, where there is an equal give and take. Since we are always giving our energy away, we need to also be able to receive love from those around us. In order to feel our best, we need strong connections with our families and communities. We experience connection by finding our tribes; the friends who become family and will love us and encourage us through any challenges. We also experience connection by being fully present with our families, by putting our phones away, being in the moment, and allowing ourselves to feel the love we have for these special people in our lives. By being with the people we love, who also love us, and accept us exactly as we are, we experience fulfilling connection in our lives.

Contribution

Contribution is the final key to happiness for us mamas. In order to feel happy and fulfilled, we need to feel that we are contributing something of value to the world. We all want to know that our lives have made an impact, whether that be by the specific ways in which we raise our children, the work we do in the world, or a combination of both. We need to be doing meaningful work with our lives, contributing to the things and people that matter to us, and being intentional about the legacies that we will leave behind.

Contemplation, connection, and contribution are the keys to a happy life as a mama. Once these 3 values are met, joy comes naturally. The great thing about this, is that these 3 things are all within our control. How we spend our days, is how we spend our lives. By taking small steps each day to spend time in contemplation, value our connections, and contribute to what matters to us, we will be well on our way to being happy, fulfilled moms.

We will be discussing these topics at length, and creating our own daily self care routines to make sure that these values are being met, in New Mama Bird Circle, my virtual program for new moms. If you are a new mama who could use some extra support in this area, I invite you to join us! We would love to connect with you and help you feel like the happy and healthy mama that you deserve to be.

 

What Trees Can Teach Us About Life

5 Life Lessons from a Tree

Ok, I know that the title to this post sounds a little bit out there, but stick with me! 🙂 As humans, we are part of the natural world and are intrinsically connected to nature. However, we often get lost in our minds, don’t get outside enough, and lose sight of that connection.

I’ve been going on a lot of walks with my daughter lately, and have been trying my best to stay present with her and really take in all of the natural world around us. I am often pointing out all of the elements to her: the sky, grass, wind, birds, and trees. There is one tree in particular that we always stop at and admire on our daily walks. It’s a big, sturdy evergreen and we use it as a marker on our walks, always stopping to stand under its shade for a moment and say how beautiful it is. In this regular interaction with the tree, I somehow started thinking about all of the lessons that we can learn from nature, and in particular, from trees, once we allow ourselves to be open to it.

Here are 5 lessons I think we could all learn from trees:

1) Stand tall – Trees are the perfect reminder to stand tall, be proud, and own who we are. Trees don’t compare themselves to other trees, wish that they were different kind of trees, or look around to see what their neighbor trees are doing, they simply stand tall in the knowledge of who they are. In this way, trees teach us to be ourselves and always stand proud in the truth of who we are.

2) Stay grounded – At the same time, trees serve as a reminder to stay grounded. Trees honor their roots and know that all of their important work is done underground. It takes strong roots to grow into a big and mighty tree. This is a great lesson for us to concentrate our efforts on making our happiness an inside job, and being more concerned with how we are growing and developing internally, instead of seeking validation from the outer world.

3) Adapt to change – Perhaps the most important lesson that we can take from trees is to learn to adapt to change. Life is ever-changing, and trees know that in order to survive, they need to be adaptable to their surroundings. They learn to handle whatever challenges are thrown at them by the weather, adapt to many different climates, and bloom where they are planted. This is an incredibly wise lesson that we should all accept into our own lives.

4) Beauty comes with age – Have you ever noticed that the most beautiful trees are the ones that have been around the longest? Trees grow more lovely with each passing year. As trees age and mature, their foundation gets stronger, their trunks get sturdier, their blooms become more bountiful. This is the beauty that comes with age. Older trees have learned to withstand the seasons of life and know how to persevere in order to grow. They are no longer fighting for their survival; they have learned how to grow and are free to continue doing what now comes naturally to them. There is beauty and wisdom that comes with age. This is true for us as human beings just as much as it is for the trees!

5) Reach for the sky – A key part to a tree’s survival is to continue reaching for the sky. The sky provides nourishment from the sun and allows trees to continue growing and reaching higher and higher. Trees don’t place limits on themselves for what they can accomplish or how much they can grow. They simply keep reaching for the sky and trust that it will continue to provide for them. This is something that we can all aspire to; to go for our dreams and trust that we will be provided for.

I hope you find these lessons to be true for you. I encourage you to get outside, enjoy nature, and see if it has any wisdom to share with you. Beauty and truth are all around us in the natural world, we just have to make the time to look for it and stay open and curious to receiving its messages.

Have a beautiful week and make sure to get outside and look around for awhile. 🙂

Be well,
Ambar

Let’s Celebrate Spring!

Celebrate Spring

Springtime is upon us! The temperatures aren’t exactly cooperating yet here in NJ, but the days are getting longer, the sunshine is getting brighter, and there is a new energy in the air. I have been really into rituals lately, so I wanted to share some simple rituals that you can do to celebrate and welcome spring into  your life.

This past week we celebrated the spring equinox, which is the one day in which the light of day and the dark of night are equal. This makes this the perfect time to seek out balance in our lives. Spring is also a time of rebirth and renewal. Grass starts getting greener, new leaves and flowers start to bloom, birds start to migrate back north, and animals come out of hibernation. The same is true for us. Spring affords us an opportunity to come back to life with fresh new energy. It is a time for creation.

My favorite springtime ritual is to gather some fresh flowers, light a candle, and take time to journal about what I want to welcome into the new season. I like to think about what parts of my life are out of balance, and how I can get them more in sync. I also like to make plans for creative projects that I want to bring out into the world, and also fun activities that I want to do with my family.

Balance is something that is really important to me right now. Since leaving my full time job a few months ago, I’ve been striving to find the ideal balance between work/play/family time. I’ve recently been working a bit more and getting into more of a structured routine, and that’s feeling really good for me right now. I tend to be very easy going and relaxed by nature, so having more structure and routine helps to balance me out. Balance is such an individual thing, and what’s right for one person may be completely wrong for another. The important thing is to notice what feels good to you and tune into your own unique energy.

Seek out balance in all areas of your life. Take a look at how you are dividing your time. Are you happy with what you are devoting yourself to? What percentage of your time is being spent with your family? By yourself? With your partner? With your friends? Notice if there are any shifts that you need to make in order to find a better balance.

Are your days very busy? Maybe you need more time to rest. Or maybe you are resting a lot and could use a little more activity and motivation.

What does your health look like? Is your eating balanced? Are you being as active as you would like to be? What activities are you doing to support a healthy lifestyle? Notice if there are any shifts that need to be made in this area.

Are you taking good care of yourself? Do you take time to do the things that light you up and make you feel happy and fulfilled? Do you have some dedicated time that is just for you? This is so important, and is often missed.

Take some time to think about your answers to these questions and figure out simple changes you can start to make to shift yourself into better balance this season.

Here are some other ideas for celebrating early spring:

  • Buy fresh flowers and display flower arrangements throughout your home
  • Plant fresh herbs or flower seeds in a pot and place on a sunny windowsill
  • Spend more time outside and notice all of nature’s bounty beginning to grow
  • Do something creative: draw, color, sing, and dance
  • Add some spring décor to your home (we like having seasonal wreaths on our front door, and make a little ritual out of changing them on the first weekend of each season)
  • Diffuse floral essential oils throughout your house
  • Do some spring cleaning and declutter your home
  • Spring clean your garden by removing all of the dead leaves and creating space for the new blooms that are on their way
  • Spring clean your life by tying up any loose ends, letting go of anything that is no longer serving you, and creating space for great new things to enter your world

How will you be welcoming spring into your life? Let me know in the comments below!

Have a happy week!

Be well,
Ambar

Life is Not Happening TO You, It’s Happening FOR You

Life is Happening For You Not To You
Photo by Olivia Hamilton Jones

I have a really great topic this week. In my many years of personal development, I’ve learned a lot of different ways of looking at the world and about how our thought patterns can change our lives. The tip that I’m sharing today might be the single most impactful thing I’ve learned. This is the one mindset shift you can make that can change everything: Start to believe that life is happening FOR you, not TO you. Sounds simple right?

Most of us go through life thinking that our life circumstances and events are happening TO us. This causes us to feel like we are at the mercy of our circumstances. We look at difficult circumstances as roadblocks, or things that stop us from getting to where we want to go. We think we need to rise above challenging times, and find a way to succeed despite them. By looking at life in this way, we make ourselves victims of our circumstances.

Learning to shift out of this victim mentality affords us the opportunity to become the co-creators of our lives.

What if instead of thinking that life is happening TO us, we start to truly believe that it is happening FOR us? For our growth, our betterment, our greater good? What if every single aspect of our lives is designed to teach us something that we need to know, something that we wouldn’t be able to learn without having that particular experience? What if instead of looking at our challenges as roadblocks, we start to look at them as roadmaps guiding us in the right direction?

When I look back on my life now, I can see clearly that some of the most difficult times in my life were the times in which I’ve changed and grown the most. I am willing to bet that the same is true for you.

Here are some examples from my own life experience that demonstrate how my biggest challenges were my biggest opportunities for growth:

Losing my mother early in life gave me the ability to learn to mother myself from a young age and gave me a strong belief that there is more to life than just the physical world.

Battling addiction forced me to find a better way to heal my depression and lead me to a healthy and holistic lifestyle.

Struggling with anxiety has helped me create more inner peace than I ever dreamed of.

Being in a dysfunctional relationship taught me to appreciate a good man once I found him.

Taking responsibility for my life has allowed me to become the woman I am today. I spent many years with a “poor me” attitude, but the second I started to believe that I was not a victim of my circumstances, and that my life challenges were in fact, opportunities to evolve, grow, and detour into a better life direction, that’s when everything started to change for me. At times, it’s still easy for me to revert back to a negative mindset. But now I know better so I can easily shift out of it.

I now know that being challenged by my toddler is an opportunity to show up everyday with peace and presence, as the mother I most want to be.

I know that watching my elderly grandparents grow old lets me experience the circle of life on a personal level and gives me an opportunity to express gratitude for the magnitude of the impact that their lives have had on my own.

I trust that an argument with my husband is an opportunity to assess what’s not working in our relationship, to get to know each other on a deeper level, and to open up to loving each other even more.

I believe that an illness is an opportunity to rest and learn to take better care of myself.

I know that a never ending to do list is a reminder of the positive changes I want to make at home and out in the world, and is my motivation to get to work.

It’s all a learning opportunity; a chance at change and growth. All of it.

It’s all good.

Start to look for the good in everything, even the challenging parts of life, and the world will reward you for doing so. Instead of complaining about difficult times, start to look for the lessons in them and seek their guidance. Once you make this mindset shift your entire experience of life will start to change.

Life is happening FOR you, not TO you. What is your life trying to tell you? What change is it encouraging you to make? In what ways is it asking you to evolve? What opportunities are you being given to grow? What lessons are you being asked to learn?

Wishing you a week of radical self responsibility. I know you have it in you.

Be well,
Ambar

Sign up to get weekly tips on marriage, motherhood, health + happiness!