Our Children’s Stories are Not Our Stories

Our Children's Stories are not our stories
Photo by Bilimama Photography

Hello my friend! If you follow me on social media, (and if you don’t, I would love to connect on my Facebook page, Instagram, and be friends on FB!), you may have seen that my daughter fell down and fractured her collar bone earlier this week. It was a rough day that included 4 hours at Urgent Care with a hurting 2 year old, and lots of tears on both of our parts.

I myself, have never broken a bone, and I didn’t have my first surgery or stitches until I was well into my 20s. Navigating this world of broken bones with a toddler seemed unfair to me. I felt so badly for her and wanted to take away her pain, but of course I couldn’t. Having never experiencing this myself, I realized that I had been hoping that her experience would have been more similar to mine; that she wouldn’t have to handle a broken bone until much later in life, if at all. That’s when I had my epiphany:

Her story is not my story.

My daughter’s story, is not my story. She is her own unique individual, and she is here to have her own unique life experience. She is a human being with her own share of strengths and challenges to navigate in this lifetime.

We all want the best for our children. It can be so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we know what’s best for them, or wanting them to experience life in a similar way in which we did, or to protect them from the challenges that we ourselves faced.

But we must remember, that our children are on their own individual paths. Their stories are not our stories.

It’s human nature to want to protect our babies, to hold them close, to keep them safe. And yet, that is not our job.

Our job as mothers, is to provide our children with unconditional love and unwavering support, through the ups and downs of their own individual journeys.

Their journeys are part of our journeys, yes. But, they are not OUR journey. They are their own unique selves meant to experience the world in their own unique way, with their own unique set of circumstances.

We can advise them, guide them, and love them. But we cannot choose their story. We cannot dictate their journey.

We must stick to our own journey. And know that by honoring our own individual journeys, and living our lives as we see fit, in the best ways we can, we are giving our children permission to do the same.

So, next time that you find yourself wishing that you could take away your child’s pain, or that things could be different, stop for a moment, and give yourself the grace to know that they are on their own individual journey. Trust that whatever they are experiencing is a necessary part of their story, and believe in them enough to know that they have the inner strength to get through it. And then, give them lots of love and extra hugs. 🙂

Is this something that you struggle with? What’s the hardest part about trusting that your little ones need to have their own stories? Let me know in the comments below.

Take good care this week.

Be well,
Ambar

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2 thoughts on “Our Children’s Stories are Not Our Stories

  1. I have about five iterations of posts about this theme….mainly about how our kids are not a direct reflection of our parenting…they are their own people!!! Thanks for the luck in the pants, maybe I’ll wrap that sucker up finally!

    1. Haha thanks Shannon! I’m so glad the topic resonates with you. It is so true, although sometimes difficult to come to terms with… but when we think about it that way, it does help take some of the pressure off, doesn’t it? Please share your post after you write it, I would love to check it out! <3

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