self care

The ONE Question that will ALWAYS Help You Make the Right Decision

~ ambarelie ~ Leave a comment

one question to make decision making easy

Hi friends!

I spent most of the day yesterday at a half day yoga retreat and it was so wonderful! Taking this uninterrupted time for myself to practice yoga, connect with my spirit, and meet other like minded women was exactly what my soul needed.

However, I almost didn’t go… I had signed up for this event a week in advance, and as it got closer and closer I started second guessing myself and asking myself if I really wanted to go. I started to feel guilty that I would be missing out on a whole morning of activities with my husband and daughter. I started worrying that I didn’t really know anyone going to the event and would feel awkward or uncomfortable. I was a little anxious because I had never been to a retreat like this before and didn’t really know what to expect.

Does this happen to you before doing something new? Maybe you can relate…

But, then I asked myself the one question that always helps me get clear in situations like this:

“Who do I want to be?”

Who do I want to be?! I want to be a woman who goes on yoga retreats! I want to be a woman who takes care of her mental, spiritual, and physical wellbeing. I want to be the kind of mother that shows her daughter that taking good care of herself is absolutely necessary. I want to be someone who takes time to nurture her own needs, wants, and desires. I want to be someone who has local friends who are interested in yoga, spirituality, and share similar interests. I want to be someone who is brave enough to try new things. I want to be someone who knows that taking good care of herself is just as important as taking care of others. I want to be a woman who has a strong connection with God, who knows how to quiet her mind, who listens when she is being guided.

These are all things that yoga does for me… and so, from this place of looking at the person I most want to be, it became crystal clear that I needed to go on this retreat!

This could have gone a different way… If my answer to the question, “Who do I want to be?” was something along the lines of: I want to be someone who spends every waking moment with her family. I want to be someone who feels safe and comfortable and isn’t interested in trying new things. I want to be someone who has a solid home yoga practice and doesn’t feel the need to be part of a community… if this had been my truth, then it would have been clear that this retreat was not something that was in alignment with the person I want to be.

It all comes down to asking the question, “Who do I want to be?” and then taking time to answer it truthfully. Deep down, we all know who we most want to be… what our best selves look like. We just need to make the space in our lives to answer this question and then do the things that help us move forward as this true version of ourselves. When we do this, we can rest assured that we are making the right decisions. Our desires are always guiding us in the right direction.

And so, after spending the morning at this yoga retreat yesterday, I am feeling peaceful, connected, and inspired. I am proud of myself for trying something new. I returned to my family feeling refreshed and spent the afternoon being fully present with them. I am glad that I took this much needed time for myself.

Next time that you are feeling a little stuck or anxious about doing something new, ask yourself this question: Who do I want to be? And then go forward and do whatever you need to do to start being the person who you most want to be! This is the path to fulfillment.

Be well,
Ambar

 

3 Reasons Why You Need a Morning Routine

~ ambarelie ~ Leave a comment

3 reasons why you need a morning routine

Hey friends!

Earlier this week I had asked my friends over on Instagram stories if they have a morning routine. My morning routine has become an integral part of my life, so I was surprised to learn that a lot of people don’t currently have a morning routine in place! I truly feel that you are missing out by not having a simple, daily routine of your own.

Here are 3 reasons why a morning routine is so important:

1) A morning routine guarantees that you get some “me” time each and everyday.

So many of us are aware that we need more time for ourselves. The problem is that most of us are so busy that we have trouble finding time to fit it in! By creating a morning routine, you are making sure to take time for yourself first thing in the morning. By taking this time early in the day, you are no longer struggling to find time for it. This way, even if the rest of the day gets away from you, you still know that you took some time for yourself that day! Taking consistent time for self care helps us feel happier, less stressed, and well taken care of.

2) A morning routine sets the tone for the rest of your day.

Implementing a daily morning routine ensures that you start your day on your own agenda. When we sleep in until the last possible second, wake up to the sounds of our children screaming for our attention, or jump out of bed and immediately start tackling our to-do list, it’s very easy for our anxiety levels to run high. These are all very jarring ways to wake up and start the day. If instead, you start your day with a few moments of peace and quiet, it allows you the opportunity to ease into your day with peace and presence. These feelings will be more likely to stay with you as you go about the rest of your day.

3) A morning routine helps you focus on what matters to you.

Everyone’s morning routine looks different. I personally try to start each morning with 10-15 minutes of yoga and meditation. Your morning routine might consist of lighting a candle and drinking your coffee in peace, going for a quick run, or taking a few minutes to journal. There is no wrong way to create a morning routine; they are a very individual thing. By creating your own morning routine, you are taking a stand for what is important to you and making time for the things that matter most. This shows you that you are a priority and that you deserve to make time for the things you enjoy.

Now, I know that you may be starting to recognize the value of having a morning routine, but you might be thinking that this sounds great, but you simply don’t have that kind of time in the morning. Well, let me prove you wrong, my friend. 🙂

Here are 3 simple ways to get started with creating your own morning routine:

1) Work with what you have.

I believe that whenever possible, the ideal time to implement your morning routine is first thing in the morning. However, you have to do what’s right for you.

In some occasions, it might make more sense to take time for your morning routine once you’re alone in the house. If it feels more doable for you to start your morning routine after your kids leave for school, or your husband leaves for work, then start there. For others of you, the best time to take a few minutes to yourself might be as soon as you get to work in the morning. When I was working outside of the home, I would always take a few minutes as soon as I got to my office to make a cup of tea in my favorite mug and sip from it slowly before starting my day.  This simple act helped me feel calm and grounded before jumping into my workday.

Find the pockets of time that work best for you and start creating a simple morning routine during these precious moments of time.

2) Start small.

Your morning routine should not take a lot of time or be overly complicated. In fact, I believe that the simpler it is, the better!

If you’ve never had a morning routine before and don’t consider yourself a morning person, the idea of waking up earlier might seem impossible to you. If you tell yourself that you’re going to start waking up an hour earlier each day, it’s very likely that you will set your alarm, but then keep hitting the snooze button until that hour is up. That’s why it’s so important to start small when creating this new habit.

Start with something that is simple and doable. Many of my coaching clients have had success with starting their morning routines right in bed, from the moment they open their eyes. Keep a journal on your nightstand and take a few moments to make a short gratitude list first thing in the morning. Sit up in bed and do a short meditation before getting out of bed. Keep a tall glass of water next to your bed and take a couple of minutes to slowly sip and savor it as soon as you wake up. Starting with small, simple steps like these feels much more doable.

3) Work your way up.

Once you are in the habit of waking up just a few moments earlier to enjoy a few moments of solitude, it starts to get a bit easier to add on to your morning routine. You may find yourself rolling out your yoga mat and doing a few light stretches or sun salutations next to your bed. You might walk over to your bathroom to use some luxurious face cream. You may find that you are feeling more energized to get dressed and cook a healthy breakfast before anyone else wakes up.

Take it day by day and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Start small and slowly work your way up to the morning routine that feels just right for you!

I hope that you’ve found this helpful! In the comments below, I’d love to know about your relationship with morning routines! Do you currently have one? What does it consist of? Is the idea of having a morning routine new to you? Are you feeling inspired to create one now? Please share in the comments below!

Wising you a week full of peaceful, intentional mornings.

Be well,
Ambar

 

How to Change your Life by Changing your Thoughts

~ ambarelie ~ Leave a comment
how to change your life by changing your thoughts
Photo by Bilimama Photography <3

Many of us have heard the concept that by changing our thoughts we can change our lives. When we think negative thoughts, our life experiences become unhappy and negative. On the other hand, when we think positive thoughts, our lives feel more positive. And so, it seems that the key to living a happy, positive life is to think happy, positive thoughts. It sounds simple, right? The tricky thing is that it’s not always easy to do.

Most of us know that we want to feel good as we go about our lives. We may see the correlation between our thoughts affecting our feelings, which in turn impact our life experience. We want to think good thoughts so that we can live good lives… but where we get stuck is the HOW. How exactly do we change our thoughts? Here is my 3 step process:

1) Notice how you feel

Our feelings are the #1 indicator to whether we are thinking positive thoughts or negative thoughts. If we are feeling pretty good, chances are that our thoughts have been positive, or at the very least neutral. If we are feeling angry, sad, or anxious, it’s very likely that we have hopped on the negative thought train.

2) Pay attention to your thoughts

Once you notice that you are not feeling as good as you would like to feel, it’s time to explore your thought patterns. Start to pay attention to the words you are saying to yourself. This may feel a little bit strange if you have never done it before, but it will get easier the more you do it. Pretend that you have a bird’s eye view of what’s going on in your brain. Become a non-judgmental observer of your thoughts. Start to notice what you are saying to yourself. What phrases do you find yourself repeating over and over again? What are you telling yourself about yourself?

3) Change the script

Once you’ve established your negative thought patterns, it’s time to change them! Creating a new thought pattern is simple; it just takes a little bit of commitment. Create a mantra or affirmation that describes the new thought that you want to have. If you’ve been telling yourself, “I am so miserable” instead start saying, “I find something to smile about everyday.” Instead of thinking, “I’m poor and I have no money.” try, “Money-making opportunities are coming my way.” Instead of, “I hate my body” try “I treat my body with love and respect.” Make your new mantra stick by repeating it to yourself over and over again. Each time you find yourself thinking your old negative thought, replace it with your new mantra.

After following this process for a few days, you will start to feel much better!

I recently used this 3 step process in my own life. I realized that I had been feeling pretty anxious for several weeks. I started to notice that the first thought I had most mornings was, “I have the worst anxiety.” Throughout the day, I found myself repeating different versions of this same thought. I was walking around my daily life telling myself, “I’m so anxious” over and over again, and then I wondered why I was feeling so anxious!

Thankfully, I remembered that my feelings can be influenced by my thoughts. So I consciously started working to change them.

I created a new mantra: “Every day, in every way, I am feeling better and better.” I started repeating my new mantra each time I caught myself thinking about how anxious I was. I went to sleep reciting my mantra. I woke up and repeated it in my mind before I opened my eyes.

For the first couple of days, this took a little bit of effort, as I was still reprogramming my mind. But, by the 3rd day of doing this, I noticed that when I woke up, my first thought was “Every day, in every way, I am feeling better and better.” without my even having to think about it! It was working!

In the days that followed, new, more positive thoughts started replacing my inner dialogue. I started to notice myself saying things like “My life is really good and I’m really lucky.” By changing the one major negative thought that had been consuming me, my other thoughts started to become more positive. And, more importantly, I started to FEEL so much better! This is how I knew that I was on the right track.

Now, that’s not to say that everything is rainbows and butterflies all the time now. But, I’ve remembered that I can change my thoughts. Whenever I notice that I am feeling off, I follow this 3 step process of noticing how I’m feeling, paying attention to how I am talking to myself, and creating a new script. It always helps me feel better!

Have you ever tried to change your own mind before? It may sound a little bit crazy but I promise it works!

If you would like some help reframing your thoughts and creating a more positive life experience, I currently have one opening for a new private coaching client. Send an email to mamabirdwellnest@gmail.com to see if coaching might be right for you!

Wishing you a week full of happy thoughts!

Be well,
Ambar

 

 

10 Ways to Practice Self Love

~ ambarelie ~ Leave a comment
10 ways to practice self love
Photo by Bilimama Photography

Hi friends!

February is often thought of as the month of love. With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, I wanted to give you some ideas for simple ways to improve your relationship with the most important person in your life… yourself!

Self love is the key to having every single relationship in your life flourish! Quite simply, you cannot give what you don’t have, so it is vital for you to love yourself first, so that you are capable of giving love to the people around you!

When we do not love ourselves, we go looking for outside sources to fill up our love tanks. This leads to self destructive behaviors and codependent relationships. Happy, healthy relationships consist of two people who feel complete by themselves. It is from this place of wholeness that we are able to attract relationships that complement our lives. It all starts with loving ourselves first.

I know what you’re thinking… “That sounds really great, Ambar, but HOW do I learn to love myself more?”

Here are my top 10 ways to practice self love:

1) Start a gratitude practice.

Start a daily ritual of stating 5 things that you are grateful for each and everyday before you get out of bed in the morning! You can write them in a gratitude journal that you keep by your bedside, or even say them out loud! Showing gratitude instantly puts us in a positive mood and attracts more good things into our lives.

2) Start a daily self care ritual

Do one simple thing each day to show yourself a little extra love and attention. Wake up early to sip your coffee in peace. Give yourself a hand or foot massage. Light a candle and meditate. Start each morning with yoga. End each day with journaling. Choose something simple and doable and commit to doing it daily! This will show you that you deserve to be well taken care of.

3) Use affirmations

The ways in which we talk to ourselves matters. They become a self fulfilling prophecy. One of the quickest ways to change our inner dialogue is by using affirmations. An affirmation is a statement that is phrased in the positive tense and often starts with the words “I am…”. Create a self love affirmation such as “I am worthy.” “I am perfect exactly as I am today.” or “I treat myself with loving care.” Repeat your affirmation to yourself 10 times each morning, 10 times before bed, and 10 times each time you think of it throughout the day. For an extra boost, you can set reminders on your phone to remind you of your affirmation, and you can even start writing it down ten times daily for extra impact!

4) Eat more vegetables

I don’t care who you are or what your typical diet consists of, chances are, your body would love you a little bit more for feeding it more vegetables! Veggies are so good for us. They are detoxing and nourishing and make us feel healthy! Instead of restricting yourself by trying to cut out junk food, instead try adding in more vegetables.

5) Drink spa water

On the same note as eating more veggies, most of us could benefit from drinking more water! A really loving way to fuel yourself with H2O is to make a pitcher of spa water. Slice up some fruit or vegetables and throw them into a pitcher with distilled water. Some great options are cucumbers, lemon, and/or berries! Every time you get thirsty, drink a little spa water. I promise you it will feel like a treat!

6) Dress up

It might sound silly, but making an effort to get dressed everyday is a fun way to show ourselves some love. Take time to adorn yourself. Wear jeans instead of yoga pants, blowdry your hair, make a little extra effort with your makeup, put on your favorite sweater, and/or wear red lipstick! When we feel good about our appearance, this positive attitude radiates outward.

7) Surround yourself with people who love you

The people that we surround ourselves with make a huge impact on our lives. Take a look at your inner circle and make sure that it is full of people that are loving, encouraging, and supportive. Spend more time with the people that treat you well and less time with those that bring you down.

8) Nurture your spiritual connection

Take some time each day to tune into your connection with God, the Universe, angels, or whatever you believe in. Trust that there is more to life than what meets the eye and do whatever you can to nurture this connection. This will go a long way towards helping you feel loved and supported, which will in turn help you feel more loving toward yourself.

9) Move your body everyday

Find a movement practice that you love, and do it as much as possible! Go for a run, take a challenging exercise class, go for a daily walk, have a dance party in your kitchen! It doesn’t matter what you do, all that matters is that you get moving and have fun while doing it!

10) Thank yourself

Take some time each day to thank yourself for all that you do for yourself. The fact that you made it to the end of this list shows that you have the desire to take good care of yourself, and that’s something to celebrate! Stop whatever you’re doing right now, sit comfortable, and close your eyes. Place one hand over your heart, and the other hand over that hand. Silently say to yourself “Thank you, ______ (insert your name here). I love you ______ (insert your name here.” Do this for a few moments until you feel the love and gratitude spreading throughout your body.

I hope that you find these tips helpful, and that they encourage you to give yourself a little extra love this week!

Wishing you a week full of self love.

Be well,
Ambar

A Simple Self Love Challenge!

~ ambarelie ~ Leave a comment

Love Yourself First

Hi friends!

Do you have trouble putting yourself first? Do you feel guilty for taking time for yourself? Do you spend most of your time taking care of everyone around you, and find yourself with little energy to take care of yourself?

I get it. As women, we are the nurturers, the life-givers, the caretakers. A big part of our role is often to love and look out for the people we most care about.

We all know that in order to be of service to the people who need us, we need to be taking good care of ourselves, yet when it comes down to it, many of us struggle with actually implementing this self love and self care.

February is the month of love, and there is no better time than now to focus on loving yourself!

I’ve created a simple challenge to help you spend the next month in devotion to self love. I want to show you just how simple and easy it can be to start taking action toward treating yourself well, taking care of yourself, and showing yourself a little extra love each and every day.

Step 1: List what you love!

The first thing I want you to do is make a list of 28 things that you love! Make a list of 28 simple pleasures that bring you love and joy! Don’t overthink it; just start writing. Begin each sentence with “I love…” and see where it takes you.

Here is my list to help get you started:

  1. I love going to the beach.
  2. I love snuggling in bed with my husband and daughter.
  3. I love clean sheets.
  4. I love going for nature walks.
  5. I love curling my hair.
  6. I love using natural, organic makeup.
  7. I love being pampered.
  8. I love listening to Dave Matthews Band, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and any classic rock music from the 90s.
  9. I love lighting candles.
  10. I love diffusing essential oils.
  11. I love listening to relaxing music while I cook.
  12. I love making chicken chili.
  13. I love reading.
  14. I love taking my daughter to story time at the library.
  15. I love meditating.
  16. I love doing yoga.
  17. I love being silly with my girlfriends.
  18. I love taking pictures.
  19. I love going out for nice dinners.
  20. I love having family adventures.
  21. I love taking long, hot showers.
  22. I love writing.
  23. I love drinking tea.
  24. I love drinking red wine in a stemless wine glass.
  25. I love chocolate.
  26. I love stripes.
  27. I love having fresh flowers all over my house.
  28. I love date nights with my husband.

Step 2: Get busy DOING what you love!

Now that you have this epic list of simple things that you love, it’s time to step into action and actually start doing them! Choose one thing from your list each day and spend the next 28 days devoted to doing what you love!

It’s that simple! List what you love, and then do what you love! As you can see, the things on my list are not rocket science. They are simple, everyday activities that bring my joy. So often we forget about these joyful, mundane tasks. We think that self love and self care has to be extravagant. We find ourselves wishing for a tropical vacation, counting down the days to the weekend, or hoping for some future plans that will make us feel more relaxed and more joyful. But, we don’t have to wait for some future moment in order to start taking care of ourselves. Our lives are happening RIGHT NOW. Now is the time to focus on loving ourselves. Now is the time to take better care of ourselves. Now is the time to start doing these simple things that we love!

I promise you that if you take each of the 28 days of February to focus on crossing each and every item off of your list, you will be a happier, more joyful person by the end of this month!

I am going to be going through this challenge with the women in my private Facebook group for extra support and accountability! If you want to join us in making February the month of simple, stress-free self love, please join us over in the FB group!

Please feel free to share your love list in the comments below! I can’t wait to see what you come up with!

Wishing you a month full of everything that you love!

Be well,
Ambar

 

What are your “Bad Habits” trying to teach you?

~ ambarelie ~ 2 Comments

what are your bad habits trying to teach you?Do you ever notice yourself falling back into your bad habits and wishing that you could make them go away? I know I do! It wasn’t until recently that I realized that my bad habits aren’t really so bad after all… and that the reason that they keep reappearing is because they are trying to teach me something. Let me explain…

If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, you know that I’ve had a stressful few months with my grandmother being in the hospital. This last week we made the decision to bring her home, and while it was the best decision, it was also an emotional one. I spent every day this week traveling back and forth trying to get everything settled for her to come home, and then checking in to make sure things were running smoothly once she was discharged. When I wasn’t at my grandparents’ house, I was still doing all of the things I do on a daily basis to make sure that my own life is taken care of; spending time with my husband and daughter, cleaning, running errands, making dinner, working on my blog, meeting with clients, etc.

My week was so busy that I had very little time to do anything for myself, and each night I found myself feeling depleted and exhausted. On Wednesday night, as I was driving home, I decided that I wanted to find a drive-through Dunkin Donuts so that I could get a hot chocolate. This in and of itself, wasn’t really a big deal… it was cold out, and during the winter I occasionally like to get hot chocolate as a treat. But then, when I found myself wanting hot chocolate again on Thursday, and then on Friday… I knew that something was up.

That’s when I realized that I was trying to use hot chocolate as a way of filling myself up, because there was something that was missing from my life. I realized that I hadn’t been making time to take care of myself this week; that I had been running around trying to take care of everyone else, and leaving myself running on empty. I was trying to fill this emptiness with hot chocolate!

Sometimes, when we find ourselves craving sweets, it’s a sign that we need to treat ourselves in other, more fulfilling ways.

Here is my 3 step process for noticing when this is happening to you and using your “bad habits” as opportunities to learn how to take better care of yourself.

Step 1: Notice your habits

In the story I just described, my “bad habit” was my sugar craving. At other points in my life, my habits have been a craving for wine every night after dinner, or a desire to veg out on the couch watching the Real Housewives. For you, they may be something entirely different. Only you know what your own bad habits are. Start to notice the ways in which you find yourself wanting to numb yourself out from the world a little bit. Notice when these habits start to become a pattern.

Step 2: Ask yourself what you really need

Our bad habits are really trying to teach us something; to help us tune in to something that we are missing. Once we start to look below the surface, we can find the deeper meaning behind our habits.

Take some time to sit quietly. Place one hand on your belly, and one hand on your heart. Close your eyes and take slow deep breaths. Then ask yourself, “What do I really need?” Keep asking this question until you get an answer.

You might discover that a craving for sweets is a sign that you need to treat yourself more sweetly; that you need to devote more time and attention to yourself. A craving for wine every night might be your body’s way of telling you that it needs more down time. A compulsion to watch the Real Housewives for hours on end may really mean that you are feeling stressed out and need some time to relax and unwind.

What are your habits trying to tell you? What do you really need?

Step 3: Change your habits

Now that you know what it is that you really need, you can start to change your habits and fuel yourself with activities and habits that make you feel good.

Once I realized that my desire for hot chocolate every day was really trying to tell me that I needed to take better care of myself, instead of turning to hot chocolate each day, I started finding ways to step up my self care. I started going to sleep earlier. I got back on track with my morning yoga routine. I started going for walks everyday. After just a couple of days of taking better care of myself, I started feeling better, and my craving for sweets started to go away!

So, next time you find yourself falling into some “bad habits”, have some compassion! Your bad habits aren’t there to annoy you or frustrate you. They are a sign that there is something deeper missing from your life. Become a detective and start to uncover the lessons underneath your habits! I know that you’ll start to feel so much better once you start building healthier habits and giving yourself whatever it is that you truly need.

I hope that you find this helpful! Have you had any revelations about your own habits while reading this? Please share in the comments below!

Be well,
Ambar

 

How to Take Care of Yourself and Put Yourself First

~ ambarelie ~ Leave a comment

How to Help Yourself

I have recently been thinking of the Audrey Hepburn quote, “As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”

I had never felt the truth of this statement as much as I have now before I became a mom. I didn’t fully understand selfless, unconditional love, or the fierce devotion I’d have to wanting to help and protect my daughter as much as possible.

At the same time, I also never understood how vital it is to take care of myself, or that the ONLY way to take care of others is by taking care of myself first.

Becoming a mother has taught me what a great helper I am, and it’s also forced me to learn to help myself by taking simple, doable, and consistent actions that make a big difference in my quality of life.

By learning to help myself, and take great care of myself, I am better able to show up in the world as the wife, woman, and mother that I most want to be.

I am currently facing some new stressors in my life. My grandmother, who I am extremely close with had to have emergency surgery and has been in the hospital for almost two weeks. My 90 year old grandfather has been alone in their home, and needs help going back and forth to visit my grandma. I’ve been spending most days at the hospital with them, while also trying to juggle motherhood and all of my other responsibilities, and I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t stressful.

The only thing that’s keeping me sane through this ordeal is my commitment to self care; my dedication to helping myself first.

This is what helping myself first looks like these days:

  • Practicing yoga every morning
  • Spending a little time outdoors each day
  • Eating a healthy breakfast
  • Bringing my own lunch to the hospital
  • Using essential oils to ground me throughout the day whenever I need it
  • Taking a daily break to go for a walk
  • Listening to good music and inspiring podcasts on my drives to and from the hospital
  • Putting away my phone and being fully present with my husband and daughter each night
  • Crying to my husband or a friend whenever I’m feeling particularly burdened
  • Relaxing and reading before bed every night
  • Asking for help when I need it

These activities may seem trivial, and maybe doing one of them by itself wouldn’t have as big of an impact. But the culmination of taking these small moments to take care of myself daily adds up to my feeling grounded, safe, and supported, even during uncertain times.

It is only from this place of being cared for, that I am able to help others. By filling myself up first, I can show up as the patient and loving mother that I most want to be. I can help and support my grandparents as they age. I can be a devoted wife, and a good friend. I can hold more space for my coaching clients and be of greater service to them. I can write meaningful blog posts. I can show up to the world ready to give and ready to help…. But ONLY if I am helping myself first.

This is true for all of us. I would love for you to take some time this week to think about the ways in which you are helping others, and also the ways in which you are helping yourself. Notice if this give and take feels balanced to you. We are here in this world to help one another, but we simply cannot do that to the best of our ability if we are not first helping ourselves.

What can you do to help yourself today?

Please share in the comments below, or reply to this email to speak to me personally!

Take care and have a beautiful week.

Be well,
Ambar

 

P.S. If you are someone who struggles with making self care a priority, I would love to help! I am getting ready to start working with new coaching clients and am offering a free Self Care Strategy Session to anyone who is interested in seeing how life coaching works. I know that this time of year can get a little stressful, and I would love to support you in putting yourself first so that you can have an easeful and peaceful holiday season. Simply send an email to ambar@mamabirdwellnest.com if you would like to claim your free session and we will get it scheduled right away!

 

Why Alone Time is Necessary For Moms

~ ambarelie ~ 8 Comments

Why Moms Need Alone Time

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once you become a mom, alone time can be hard to come by… and ironically, as moms, we need our alone time more than ever.

As mothers, being busy comes with the territory. We are constantly chasing after our little humans, entertaining them, playing with them, caring for them, and keeping them alive. With so much of our time being spent caring for our babies, it’s no wonder that we’re exhausted at the end of the day.

Our children are adorable and precious. But they are also exuberant, loud, energetic, and needy. They are very dependent on us, and because of that, much of our time is spent giving.

When all of our time is spent giving, we get out of balance, and start to feel stressed and overwhelmed. Life is meant to be a natural give and take; when that isn’t happening, we are out of balance.

That’s where alone time comes in. Alone time is the gift we give ourselves. It helps even out the score so that we can get back into balance. Here are 3 reasons why alone time is so necessary for mothers, especially for mothers of young children:

Silence is Golden

I have heard it said that mothers of young children need to spend time in silence because so much of our time is consumed by noise and chaos. Could this be any more true? When most of our time is spent with our little ones, it’s very easy to become overstimulated. Having some peace and quiet helps us to relax and rejuvenate.

Self Care is Needed

Alone time qualifies as self care time. Self care doesn’t have to mean a trip to the spa. Spending a half hour reading a book or going for a walk are also ways to practice self care. We’ve all heard the expression ‘you can’t fill from an empty cup”. Taking some self care time helps balance the scales. If we are not taking good care of ourselves, the quality of care that we give to our children suffers. When we are rested and feeling good, we are better able to enjoy spending quality time with our little ones, and have a better attitude while caring for them. Taking some much needed time to ourselves allows us to recalibrate.

Tune in to Your Desires

Having space and time to ourselves helps us quiet our minds and become reacquainted with ourselves. When we are still, we are better able to connect with our inner wisdom. Have you ever noticed that you get your best ideas in the shower? That’s because it’s a quiet time when you are completely focused on yourself. Taking some alone time can have a similar effect.

As you can see, having alone time is absolutely crucial and necessary to our well being as mothers. Even a few moments spread out throughout the day can make a major difference.

Here are some ideas for incorporating more alone time into your day:

  1. Wake up before your children. Use this morning time to do some sun salutations, journal, or simply sip a cup of coffee in peace.
  2. Take mental health breaks throughout the day. Find a few moments when your children are entertained, step into another room, and do some deep breathing.
  3. Make showering and bathing a spa experience. Use some special bath salts or shower gel and use this time to intentionally unwind.
  4. Make meals a sacred time. Shut down electronics, use your good china, sit down and enjoy every meal.
  5. Enforce nap time or quiet time. If your children are still young enough to nap, take advantage of this quiet time to enjoy some self care time to yourself.
  6. Use your support system. Incorporate some time into your week where you can lean on your support system to help with your children so that you can get some time to yourself. Have your partner take your kids in the morning so that you can rest, ask your babysitter to stay for an extra hour, or drop the kids off for a playdate with friends. Take inventory of your resources and use them regularly so that you can get a break.
  7. Create an evening ritual. Take some time to wind down before bed by diffusing some essential oils, reading an inspiring book, or doing an evening meditation. Use this time to unwind.
  8. Make sleep a non-negotiable. It can be tempting to stay up late watching Netflix, but that’s not always the best use of your alone time. Try your best to shut down electronics a half an hour before bed and go to sleep at a decent time so that you can feel rested enough to wake up before your kids and follow these tips all over again every day! 🙂

I hope that you’ve started to see the value of getting some time to yourself each and every day. What’s the biggest challenge you face with incorporating alone time into your daily routine? Let me know in the comments below! I would love to help you work through this.

Have a beautiful week and enjoy some quality time with yourself!

Be well,
Ambar

P.S. If you would like some personalized help with incorporating some more alone time into your life, I invite you to check out my Private Coaching + Support packages for moms! It would be my honor to guide you in getting some more time to yourself and creating your ideal mom life!