Let’s get REAL about how we FEEL. Life is not a highlight reel.

Last night, I shared a post on social media about a bad day that I was having. I’ve been taken aback by the outpouring of support and solidarity that I have received in response to this post, and I wanted to share a little bit about this here on my blog.

You can click here to see the FB post I am talking about and read all of the comments.

Here is what I shared:

Today was not a good day. I had terrible anxiety. I cried about 12 times. I argued with my husband. I got angry at people (mostly myself).

For the last 10 years I’ve been coping with anxiety in all natural ways, and it works really well about 90% of the time. But the other 10% of the time, on days like today, I feel crazy and wonder if there’s something really wrong with me.

And still, there’s a big part of me that believes that it’s really normal, and really HUMAN to feel a little bit crazy sometimes. To have ups and downs. To experience the full spectrum of emotions that the human experience affords us… even when they are uncomfortable.

So tonight, I’m ending the day the best way I know how… with beach walks and hugs from my little family. Tomorrow I’ll try again. I’ll do some more yoga. I’ll take some supplements. I’ll use my essential oils. I’ll get outside. I’ll eat more veggies. I’ll work a little, read a little, and relax a little. I’ll enjoy some alone time and then some family time. I’ll try to have a better day and give myself grace even if it doesn’t work out that way.

I don’t know why I’m sharing this. Maybe in hopes that this helps someone out there who feels similarly. Maybe in hopes that someone says “me too” and lets me know I am not the only “crazy” one. Maybe just because I needed to get this out so I’m not bottling it all up inside, and writing is my best outlet.

Either way, this is me today. My life is not a highlight reel. We all have good days and bad days. If you happen to be having a bad day, you’re not the only one. And we might both be just a good night’s sleep away from our next good day. I certainly hope so! Goodnight, friends. Be well!

 

In just the 12 hours since I shared this post, I have received hundreds of likes, comments, and personal messages.

And here’s the thing. What I wrote is really not that special! I think that the reason that so many people felt called to respond is because they saw a piece of themselves in what I had written. We ALL have bad days! We ALL have feelings of anxiety, fear, anger, frustration, and sadness. It’s just that we don’t always talk about it.

This is the downside of social media. We are surrounded by people sharing the very best parts of their lives. And there’s nothing wrong with that… I do it too, and I get it! We all want to remember and hold onto the good days, the happy moments, the great times.

But, the shadow side of that is that in ONLY acknowledging the highs, we make ourselves wrong for feeling the lows. And in doing that we do everyone a disservice.

The human experience is not all good, no matter how much we wish it could be. We are meant to feel ups and downs, highs and lows, elation, sorrow, and everything in between. This is all a part of life! We need to get real about our life experiences and normalize not just the good, but also the bad.

When all that we see around us are shiny, happy moments, we feel that there is something wrong with us when we do not feel shiny and happy. But the truth is that there is NOTHING wrong with us. We are perfectly normal in ALL of our human experiences, in all of our feelings, in all of our shortcomings, in all of our imperfections.

This does not mean that we should stop striving to be happy. In fact, just the opposite. In having the courage to acknowledge and feel ALL of our feelings, we are able to move through them more quickly. We are able to get curious about our patterns and begin to truly heal them. We learn to appreciate the good moments even more. It is in this process that we find TRUE happiness.

So, what can we do about this?! How can we start to normalize the not-so-happy feelings?

I have 3 suggestions –

1) Be as kind to yourself as you would to a (Facebook) friend. I think that part of the reason why my Facebook post received so many interactions, is because as humans, we are naturally programmed to want to help one another. (And I am so grateful for that!)

When we see that someone is struggling, it is in our nature to want to help, to reach out with a comforting word, to let them know that they are not alone, and that whatever they are going through is perfectly normal, and that things will get better.

But, the problem is that we don’t always extend these same niceties to ourselves! How many of us judge ourselves for having a bad day? How many of us beat ourselves up after making a mistake? How often do we obsess over arguments and past hurts?

We are all our own worst critics. It’s time for us to work on the relationship that we have with ourselves. It’s time for us to start treating ourselves just as kindly (if not moreso!) as we would a friend, acquaintance, or stranger who is going through a hard time.

2) Talk about how you feel. – The ONLY way that we will every normalize anxiety, depression, anger, rage, and sadness is by talking about it! We have to get real and start talking about ALL of our feelings, NOT just the ones that we think are “good” ones! They are all good. It’s all good. We are all good! We need to stop labeling ourselves, judging ourselves, and compartmentalizing ourselves. We need to stop hiding parts of who we are. We need to start speaking up about all of our experiences.

You don’t have to talk about it on social media. But you can talk about it to your close friends, parents, husbands, partners, and other loved ones. The important thing is that you get it out there. Make it a part of your everyday conversations. Let the people you love and trust see ALL of you. I promise they are strong enough to handle it. Chances are, they will relate. In sharing our struggles, we give others around us permission to share theirs, or at the very least to see that they are not the only ones going through something.

So, start talking! It’s the only way to normalize these feelings and start creating a change.

3) Be your own advocate. – YOU are always the #1 expert on YOU. When you are going through a difficult time and begin sharing about it, you may receive advice and suggestions from others who want to help, which is great. However, always trust yourself and tune into your own inner wisdom. YOU are the one who knows what’s best for you.

If you are feeling mad, sad, anxious, or depressed, it’s time to advocate for yourself and give yourself what you need. Do you need to go for a run? Do you need to take a break? Do you need time alone? Do you need a night out with your girlfriends? Do you need a hug? Do you need to talk to a therapist? Do you need outside help? What do you need?

Figure out what you need and then don’t be afraid to ask for it.


To be honest, it was a little scary for me to share this post yesterday, but now I am so glad that I did. It certainly helped me see that I am not alone, and that even more people than I was aware of share in similar struggles.

I was a little bit nervous to share about my own struggles, not only because they are not often talked about publicly, but also because I thought it might damage my credibility. I mean… part of my job is helping women who are struggling with stress and anxiety! Would anyone trust me to help them if they see that I still struggle myself?

But, now I am starting to see that the reason why I am an expert on anxiety relief is BECAUSE I still struggle with it myself! The fact that I still have my own challenges, but am 100% committed to working my way through them is what allows me to relate to my clients and support them in the ways that I want to be supported myself.

In my experience, the best kind of coaching is about getting support and guidance from someone who is just a few steps ahead of you, not about learning from some sort of holier than thou superhuman who has every aspect of life figured out! (Does this even exist?) I understand these struggles firsthand. I am always learning, always growing, and always devoted to living my best, happiest life, despite whatever challenges I may be facing. I am here to help you do the same.

So, if you are struggling with feelings of stress and anxiety and are looking for some support… here are some resources to help you:

1) I currently offer 2 different ways of working with me privately. One is a one time strategy session and the other is a 3 month package for women who are looking for ongoing support. Click here to learn more.

2) If you are a mom with young children and you want to teach them healthy ways of coping with their feelings (while learning them yourself), my Yoga With Littles course is currently open for enrollment at a special presale price of 50% off! This special offer ends tomorrow 7/31, so click here to check it out now before the price goes up.

I started teaching yoga to my daughter when she was just 2 months old, because I didn’t want her to grow up with the same struggles with anxiety that I did. If you can relate to this, this course may be the perfect gift for both you and your child(ren)!


I hope this message serves you in some way. Let’s go out into our lives and create change. Let’s be brave enough to stand up for ourselves and our wellbeing. Let’s be real and share how we feel. No matter what we see pictured around us, life is not a highlight reel!

Take good care and be well my friends.

Lots of love,
Ambar

 

How to Have an Attitude of Gratitude

how to have an attitude of gratitude

Hi friends!

Each week, in my Facebook group, The Stress Free Society, we celebrate Thankful Thursdays where we do a weekly gratitude blast and share what we are grateful for. (Click here to join us if you haven’t yet!)

This week, as I was going through my own gratitude list, I was reminded of the quote, “The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for. Be thankful.” – Unknown

I quickly realized that looking at our lives in this way is one of the fastest ways to be grateful for what we have.

Here is an exercise that you can do right now to shift to an attitude of gratitude.

  1. Think about the things that most stress you out about your life.

  2. Shift this circumstance into a positive, by looking at it from the point of view of someone who is currently praying for the very same thing that you are currently experiencing.

  3. Now that you have adopted this new mindset, there is no going back! Take a moment to feel grateful for your life… ALL OF IT. Exactly as it is right now.

Here are some examples of how you would put this into action:

Maybe you are frustrated that you are single, while everyone around you seems to be getting married and living happily ever after. Instead, think about all of the people who are praying for the courage to leave dysfunctional relationships. Think about how much they would love to feel independent and not have the weight of a relationship that’s not working holding them down.

Perhaps you are stressed out by your job. Think about all of the people who are praying for the security of a weekly paycheck.

Maybe you are annoyed that you live with your parents. Think about all of the people who would love nothing more than to be able to go back to their childhood home or be supported by their families.

There is always something to be thankful for if you search deep enough.

If you want to take this one step further, look at your current circumstances and see where in your life you are currently experiencing the very things that YOU once prayed for.

Have you accomplished your life-long dream of having babies and being a mother? Are you able to support yourself and live on your own without having to depend on anyone? Have you accomplished your goal of becoming a teacher, getting a raise, or owning your own business? Are you in the happy relationship you always hoped for? Are you living in the beautifully decorated home you always pictured yourself in?

In our world, it’s very common to accomplish our hopes and dreams, and immediately move on to the next goal that we want to accomplish, without taking the time to celebrate all that we have already achieved!

Take some time this week to hit pause. Look back on all of the things you once prayed for. Notice the ones that have become your reality. Be grateful for that. Stop wishing for more for a moment, and take a minute to enjoy all of the beautiful gifts that you already have.

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” – Oprah

Be well,
Ambar

 

How to Take Care of Yourself and Put Yourself First

How to Help Yourself

I have recently been thinking of the Audrey Hepburn quote, “As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”

I had never felt the truth of this statement as much as I have now before I became a mom. I didn’t fully understand selfless, unconditional love, or the fierce devotion I’d have to wanting to help and protect my daughter as much as possible.

At the same time, I also never understood how vital it is to take care of myself, or that the ONLY way to take care of others is by taking care of myself first.

Becoming a mother has taught me what a great helper I am, and it’s also forced me to learn to help myself by taking simple, doable, and consistent actions that make a big difference in my quality of life.

By learning to help myself, and take great care of myself, I am better able to show up in the world as the wife, woman, and mother that I most want to be.

I am currently facing some new stressors in my life. My grandmother, who I am extremely close with had to have emergency surgery and has been in the hospital for almost two weeks. My 90 year old grandfather has been alone in their home, and needs help going back and forth to visit my grandma. I’ve been spending most days at the hospital with them, while also trying to juggle motherhood and all of my other responsibilities, and I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t stressful.

The only thing that’s keeping me sane through this ordeal is my commitment to self care; my dedication to helping myself first.

This is what helping myself first looks like these days:

  • Practicing yoga every morning
  • Spending a little time outdoors each day
  • Eating a healthy breakfast
  • Bringing my own lunch to the hospital
  • Using essential oils to ground me throughout the day whenever I need it
  • Taking a daily break to go for a walk
  • Listening to good music and inspiring podcasts on my drives to and from the hospital
  • Putting away my phone and being fully present with my husband and daughter each night
  • Crying to my husband or a friend whenever I’m feeling particularly burdened
  • Relaxing and reading before bed every night
  • Asking for help when I need it

These activities may seem trivial, and maybe doing one of them by itself wouldn’t have as big of an impact. But the culmination of taking these small moments to take care of myself daily adds up to my feeling grounded, safe, and supported, even during uncertain times.

It is only from this place of being cared for, that I am able to help others. By filling myself up first, I can show up as the patient and loving mother that I most want to be. I can help and support my grandparents as they age. I can be a devoted wife, and a good friend. I can hold more space for my coaching clients and be of greater service to them. I can write meaningful blog posts. I can show up to the world ready to give and ready to help…. But ONLY if I am helping myself first.

This is true for all of us. I would love for you to take some time this week to think about the ways in which you are helping others, and also the ways in which you are helping yourself. Notice if this give and take feels balanced to you. We are here in this world to help one another, but we simply cannot do that to the best of our ability if we are not first helping ourselves.

What can you do to help yourself today?

Please share in the comments below, or reply to this email to speak to me personally!

Take care and have a beautiful week.

Be well,
Ambar

 

P.S. If you are someone who struggles with making self care a priority, I would love to help! I am getting ready to start working with new coaching clients and am offering a free Self Care Strategy Session to anyone who is interested in seeing how life coaching works. I know that this time of year can get a little stressful, and I would love to support you in putting yourself first so that you can have an easeful and peaceful holiday season. Simply send an email to ambar@mamabirdwellnest.com if you would like to claim your free session and we will get it scheduled right away!

 

3 Steps to Bust Through a Bad Mood

How to bust through a Bad Mood

Through the years, I’ve learned many different ways to relieve stress, decrease anxiety, and cope with the stressors of life. You might think that I’m walking around in a little happy bubble all the time, but that’s not the case. I have challenging days just like everybody else, I get into bad moods, and sometimes I have trouble snapping out of them. The most interesting thing I’ve noticed is that the times in which I am feeling particularly stressed or anxious are usually the times when I am most resistant to doing the things that I know will make me feel better!

Things like taking an hour long yoga class or going in a quiet room to meditate are my go-to ideas for getting out of a bad mood and feeling better. But, they are not always conducive to my life. So, I’ve developed a simple 3 step process that I use to clear my energy and bounce back quickly whenever I find myself in a bad mood. The whole process does not take very long, and when I take the time to do it, I find myself feeling better immediately. I wanted to share with you, so that you can give it a try too!

3 Steps to Bust Through a Bad Mood:

1) Breathe

Many times when we find ourselves in stressful situations, our breathing gets shallow. When we are not taking big, full breaths, it sends a panic signal to our brain, that makes us feel even worse! Whenever I am feeling stressed or anxious, the first thing I do is bring my attention back to my breathing. I take deep belly breaths and imagine that my belly is a balloon that I am filling up with air. I breathe in and out slowly, counting to 5 on each inhale and exhale. Bringing the focus back to our breath is the simple first step to feeling better.

2) Feel

When we are in a bad mood, there is usually a reason behind it. It can be a simple irritation or aggravation, or result from weeks of pent up frustration. Instead of trying to forget about the things that are bothering us, it’s best to allow ourselves to feel them out. Take a few moments to try to recognize what you are feeling and try to give a word to it. It might be anger, sadness, guilt, anxiety, or something else. Notice what you are feeling and let yourself feel it. Sometimes I end up crying when I sit with my feelings, and other times I just breathe into them. The important thing is to give them permission to be there and actually FEEL them. (I have another blog post on How to Feel Your Feelings that you might find helpful if this is something that is difficult for you).

3) Move

Now that you’ve focused on your breath and given yourself space to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling, it’s time to move! Our emotions can get stuck in our body and make us feel worse if we don’t do something to get them out. Doing some sort of physical activity is a great way to move that negative energy out of your body. If you have some time at hand, this would be a great time to go for a long run or take your favorite exercise class. If time is limited, I might put on an upbeat, high energy song and have a dance party in my living room. (June and I have made dance parties a part of our regular routine for this very reason!). It’s almost impossible to stay stuck in a bad mood when you’re dancing like a maniac to Pharrell’s “Happy” or Katy Perry’s “Firework”. Other quick ways to move the energy out of your body might be to do 20 jumping jacks, jump on a mini trampoline, or even just hit a pillow. A few minutes is usually all it takes to get things moving and flowing through you.

And, there you have it; 3 simple steps to help you bust through a bad mood. Next time you are feeling a little bit off, I encourage you to take a few minutes to Breathe, Feel, and Move your way to feeling better! Please let me know how this goes for you in the comments below.

Be well,
Ambar

How to Take Responsibility for Yourself and Learn to Love Your Life

How to Take Responsibility for Yourself and Learn to Love Your Life

Hi friends! If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, or you follow me on social media, then you know I’m a pretty positive person. I truly love life and try to always focus on the good stuff.

But, this wasn’t always the case. I have learned to greatly appreciate all of the wonderful things in my life, because I spent many years being stuck in darkness. For many years, I felt like life was just happening to me, and that I was a victim of my circumstances.

It wasn’t until I learned to take responsibility for myself that my life started to change for the better, and little by little I’ve become one of the happiest people I know.

Learning to take responsibility for my life helped me end a dysfunctional relationship and create space for the amazing marriage I now have.

It helped me stop drinking, smoking, and numbing myself from the world, and instead start experiencing life as it is meant to be experienced.

It allowed me to stop making excuses and move to the beach where I always wanted to live.

It lead me to decide that the time was right to become a mother even though it felt out of my comfort zone at the time.

It guided me to start this blog and start doing work to support other women.

It helped me decide that working full time was no longer right for me and guided me to quit my job to focus more on my family and other interests.

Learning to take responsibility for myself has become my guidance system. It has helped me develop trust in myself and my intuition and know that it will never lead me wrong.

But, it is not always easy. Taking responsibility for ourselves requires us to make massive decisions that are not always easy to make. It means taking complete ownership of our lives and deciding that we will not be victims to our circumstances. Many times, it means we have to step outside of our comfort zone and do things that feel hard.

Taking responsibility for yourself is not always about major life changing decisions like making a big move or having a child. It is a decision you make everyday. Taking responsibility for yourself might mean having a difficult conversation, setting some boundaries, or taking better care of yourself. It is about taking ownership over the kind of life you want to live and the way that you want to feel.

Taking responsibility for yourself means knowing that you alone have complete power over your feelings, thoughts, and actions.

I’ve developed a 5 step process for taking responsibility for ourselves and improving our lives. Follow the steps below and you will be well on your way to living the life you desire.

1) Notice how you feel.

Our feelings are our central guidance system. When we feel good, it is because we are on the right track. When we start to feel a little off, it is often because we are not listening to our desires and needs. For me, my go-to feeling is anxiety. Anytime I notice that I am feeling anxious, it is usually a sign that things aren’t working in some aspect of my life. Anxiety is the feeling that comes up most often for me, but for you it might be anger, sadness, or even dissatisfaction. Noticing that you are not feeling as good as you would like to feel is the first step to making positive changes.

2) Pay attention to how you are talking to yourself.

When times get tough, it’s easy to find ourselves wallowing in negativity. Paying attention to the words we use to describe ourselves and our current situation is the next step towards change. Even during challenging times, phrases like “I’m so anxious”, “I feel terrible”, or “This sucks” aren’t particularly helpful. If you find yourself repeating these negative phrases over and over, guess where that will get you? Yep, you will end up feeling anxious, terrible, and stuck in a sucky situation. Watch your words, because the stories we tell ourselves become our reality.

3) Change your words.

Now that we’ve noticed the negative thoughts we’ve been having, and the stories we have been telling yourself, it’s time to switch them into something more proactive. So, instead of saying “I’m so anxious”, you might say “I am managing my anxiety in creative ways.” Instead of “I feel terrible”, you might try, “I find small ways to feel good everyday”, and instead of “This sucks”, you might say “I am doing my best during a difficult situation.” Do you notice how much more empowering these words are? Make these new phrases your mantras, and repeat them to yourself over and over again until you start to believe them.

4) Focus on what you can control.

Many times, when we are facing challenges, we start to feel out of control. Many of life’s biggest challenges are completely out of our control, yet we spend so much time and energy fixating on these things that we cannot change. The best thing to do is to focus on what you CAN control. Even in the most seemingly hopeless situations, there is always something that is within our control. Sometimes, we may not be able to control the things that happen to us, but we can control the way we react, and the ways in which we choose to participate in our lives.

Noticing that there are parts of our lives that we CAN control, and taking ultimate control of them, is the best way to feel better during challenging situations.

5) Make the necessary changes.

At this point, you have recognized that you are feeling a little off, changed your self-talk, and noticed what is not working in your life. Now that you have this awareness, it’s time to make some changes.

For me, many times, the necessary changes that I need to make start with taking better care of myself. No matter what my circumstances, I can always make sure that I take a little bit of time for myself each day, and take good care of myself by meditating, exercising, and eating well so that I don’t make my anxiety even worse. I can talk to a coach, a therapist, or my husband about my feelings instead of keeping them all bottled up inside.

After my self care needs are being met, I am in a stronger mind space to make any bigger changes that need to happen in order for me to live the life of my dreams.

By being purely reactive to life circumstances, we quickly feel hopeless. Being proactive about the things within our control is the only way to live a happy and healthy life.

I have used this 5 step process to get me through many difficult times in life, and I know that they will continue to help me. I hope that this process is helpful to you as well.

Take responsibility for yourself, your feelings, and your actions, and your life will inevitably improve.

Be well,
Ambar

P.S. If you are noticing that you need to make some changes in your life, I would love to work with you to support you in taking the necessary steps. Working with me as a life coach means that you have me in your corner for support and encouragement. A life coach is a non-judgmental person who helps you look at your circumstances in new ways and pushes you to make the changes necessary to live your best life. If this sounds like something you’re interested in, I’d love to be that person for you! Fill out the contact form below, or send me an email to mamabirdwellnest@gmail.com for more information.

 

What Trees Can Teach Us About Life

5 Life Lessons from a Tree

Ok, I know that the title to this post sounds a little bit out there, but stick with me! 🙂 As humans, we are part of the natural world and are intrinsically connected to nature. However, we often get lost in our minds, don’t get outside enough, and lose sight of that connection.

I’ve been going on a lot of walks with my daughter lately, and have been trying my best to stay present with her and really take in all of the natural world around us. I am often pointing out all of the elements to her: the sky, grass, wind, birds, and trees. There is one tree in particular that we always stop at and admire on our daily walks. It’s a big, sturdy evergreen and we use it as a marker on our walks, always stopping to stand under its shade for a moment and say how beautiful it is. In this regular interaction with the tree, I somehow started thinking about all of the lessons that we can learn from nature, and in particular, from trees, once we allow ourselves to be open to it.

Here are 5 lessons I think we could all learn from trees:

1) Stand tall – Trees are the perfect reminder to stand tall, be proud, and own who we are. Trees don’t compare themselves to other trees, wish that they were different kind of trees, or look around to see what their neighbor trees are doing, they simply stand tall in the knowledge of who they are. In this way, trees teach us to be ourselves and always stand proud in the truth of who we are.

2) Stay grounded – At the same time, trees serve as a reminder to stay grounded. Trees honor their roots and know that all of their important work is done underground. It takes strong roots to grow into a big and mighty tree. This is a great lesson for us to concentrate our efforts on making our happiness an inside job, and being more concerned with how we are growing and developing internally, instead of seeking validation from the outer world.

3) Adapt to change – Perhaps the most important lesson that we can take from trees is to learn to adapt to change. Life is ever-changing, and trees know that in order to survive, they need to be adaptable to their surroundings. They learn to handle whatever challenges are thrown at them by the weather, adapt to many different climates, and bloom where they are planted. This is an incredibly wise lesson that we should all accept into our own lives.

4) Beauty comes with age – Have you ever noticed that the most beautiful trees are the ones that have been around the longest? Trees grow more lovely with each passing year. As trees age and mature, their foundation gets stronger, their trunks get sturdier, their blooms become more bountiful. This is the beauty that comes with age. Older trees have learned to withstand the seasons of life and know how to persevere in order to grow. They are no longer fighting for their survival; they have learned how to grow and are free to continue doing what now comes naturally to them. There is beauty and wisdom that comes with age. This is true for us as human beings just as much as it is for the trees!

5) Reach for the sky – A key part to a tree’s survival is to continue reaching for the sky. The sky provides nourishment from the sun and allows trees to continue growing and reaching higher and higher. Trees don’t place limits on themselves for what they can accomplish or how much they can grow. They simply keep reaching for the sky and trust that it will continue to provide for them. This is something that we can all aspire to; to go for our dreams and trust that we will be provided for.

I hope you find these lessons to be true for you. I encourage you to get outside, enjoy nature, and see if it has any wisdom to share with you. Beauty and truth are all around us in the natural world, we just have to make the time to look for it and stay open and curious to receiving its messages.

Have a beautiful week and make sure to get outside and look around for awhile. 🙂

Be well,
Ambar

10 Life Lessons from a Year of Life Coach Training

life lessons from life coach training

This is a special week for me, as I am celebrating my graduation from my year long life coach training program, Mentor Masterclass. This program has been transformational for me. So many things have changed since I began the program last year, that I feel like a different woman, both personally and professionally. I wanted to share the top 10 lessons that I learned from life coach training because I know that they are invaluable lessons that everyone should know.

1) Start before you are ready.
When I started my life coach training program last year, I had a 6 month old baby, was working full time, and was still trying to figure out the ins and outs of motherhood and this new life phase. It did not seem like the perfect time to be taking on an intensive program, but I went for it anyway, and now, one year later, I am a certified life coach! Life gets crazy and we are all busy. If we wait for the perfect time to do the things that we want to do, that time may never come. So start before you are ready. Start now.

2) Set goals. They are the roadmap to success.
Our goals are our roadmap to life. If we don’t know where we want to go, then we won’t know how to get there. Once we decide what our intentions are, we can figure out where to focus our energy, and figure out the steps we need to take to get to our final destination.

3) Surround yourself with people who are where you want to be.
Have you heard the quote that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with? I have found this to be incredibly true. In the past year, I was surrounded by amazing women who were living the life that I aspired to live. Many of them had their own businesses as well as families, and they were figuring out a way to make it all work. They were driven, successful, and living life on their own terms. Being in their company helped me see that if this was possible for them, it’s possible for me too. You are the company you keep. Surround yourself with people that inspire you to be your best self.

4) Where there’s a will there’s a way.
We all have different blocks that hold us back in life. There is always something that we feel is holding us back from living the life we want to be living. We might think that we don’t have enough money, or the right education, or enough self confidence to go after our dreams. We doubt that we are worthy of the lives we deserve. This year, I’ve learned that all we really need is to be willing to show up day after day and take small steps in the right direction. The rest will figure itself out. When I left my job a few months ago, it was really scary. The idea had seemed impossible to me for months. From a financial perspective, it really didn’t make sense, and I wondered if it was irresponsible. But, I was willing to make the change, and I’m figuring the rest out. There are challenging days, but I am so happy that I was willing to choose what was right for me in my family, and that I now get to spend so much more time with my precious daughter. Be willing to follow your heart and make necessary changes, even if they feel scary. Once you are truly willing to change, you will find a way to make it happen.

5) Small steps lead to big journeys.
I signed up for life coach training because I wanted to dive deeper into personal development, and I knew that I wanted to help people. When I enrolled, I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to be an actual life coach, but I knew that I had been through my fair share of challenges in life, had managed to come out the other side, and I wanted to share the tools that I had learned with other people who might be struggling. So, I started taking small steps. I created this blog, and started writing every week. I started teaching yoga to my coworkers, started my wellness circles for new moms, lead meditation groups, and started coaching other women. Now, one year later, I have coached over 30 women and have been blogging every week for the last 8 months. It makes me so happy to be able to share from my experiences and help other people so that they don’t have to suffer. This is only the beginning of my journey, but I am so proud of the small steps that I’ve taken this year. Be consistent, show up every day and keep walking toward your goals, You will be amazed at where you end up.

6) We all have a story to share and you never know who needs to hear your story.
Life is not always easy, and we have all had challenges and life experiences that are unique to us. Many times, we try to hide our past struggles because we feel shame around them. But the truth is, those struggles are what made you strong. If you have overcome something difficult and managed to become a better person as a result, you are a warrior, and your experience should be shared. We all have things that we keep hidden, but by being able to own your story, you empower others around you who might be going through something similar. Be brave enough to show your truth. You never know who you might be helping with your story.

7) We are all more alike than we think.
Being in community with 40 women from different walks of life showed me that we are all more alike than we think we are. Our stories might be different, but our feelings and desires are very similar. We all want to love and be loved. We all want to contribute to the world and leave it better than we found it, whether that be by the work we do, the relationships we have, or the children we raise. As women, we are nurturers, we are sensitive, and we are cyclical beings. We have ups and downs, we are emotional, we are overjoyed, we are messy, we are so much to so many people. We are all alike, and most of all, we all need each other. Take time to acknowledge the people around you. Smile, be kind, hold the door for a stranger. Treat others the way that you would want to be treated. Learn to see yourself in the eyes of those around you.

8) Know when to ask for help.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned this year is that I can’t do it all alone. I’ve always considered myself a very independent person and had developed a story that I don’t need anyone’s help and I can do everything on my own. I’ve learned that it’s just not true. Sometimes I need help. We all do. Knowing when to ask for help and allowing yourself to be supported by others is one of the smartest things you can do for yourself and your wellbeing.

9) Take everything personally.
In our everyday lives, it can become really easy to blame the people around us for our life experiences. We blame our husbands not being home enough for us feeling overwhelmed. We blame our families for making us feel guilty if we don’t visit or call enough. We blame our children for acting up and driving us crazy. We blame our friends for being moody and putting us on edge. What if instead of blaming everyone around us, we chose to take 100% responsibility for ourselves, our actions, and our feelings? It might mean that the reason we feel overwhelmed is not because our husbands aren’t home enough, but because we haven’t chosen to ask for help. It may mean that our families aren’t making us feel guilty for not visiting enough, but that we have created an idea in our heads that we “should” be visiting our family more, when in reality we don’t want to. It might mean that our children acting up is driving us crazy because we aren’t taking enough time for self care. It might mean that we are on edge around our friend because we aren’t being honest about what we need from her. These might be some harsh realizations. But by learning to take everything personally, and figure out what it says about you, instead of those around you,  you put yourself back in the driver’s seat of your life.

10) Celebrate everything.
This year, I have learned to take time to celebrate all of my accomplishments, big and small. Celebrating helps to keep us accountable for reaching our goals. It shows us that we are someone who is capable of doing great things and teaches us to honor ourselves and our achievements. By taking time to celebrate ourselves, we are programming our minds to keep doing things that are cause for celebration. Best of all, it feels good! Next time you reach a goal, instead of brushing it aside like it was no big deal, take time to celebrate yourself! Acknowledge your hard work and praise yourself for a job well done. Ask yourself what you did to get here and why that was important to you. And then, reward yourself!

I hope you find these lessons useful.

Wishing you a week full of celebration!

Be well,
Ambar

P.S. In honor of my graduation from Mentor Masterclass, I’m opening up 3 spots for private coaching at a special introductory rate. Please contact me at mamabirdwellnest@gmail.com if you are interested in learning more about life coaching and finding out if this is right for you! xo

P.P.S. If you are interested in learning more about becoming a life coach, I would be happy to talk to you about this amazing program. As you can see, it has been a life changing experience for me, and I can’t recommend it enough. 🙂