How to Change your Life by Changing your Thoughts

how to change your life by changing your thoughts
Photo by Bilimama Photography <3

Many of us have heard the concept that by changing our thoughts we can change our lives. When we think negative thoughts, our life experiences become unhappy and negative. On the other hand, when we think positive thoughts, our lives feel more positive. And so, it seems that the key to living a happy, positive life is to think happy, positive thoughts. It sounds simple, right? The tricky thing is that it’s not always easy to do.

Most of us know that we want to feel good as we go about our lives. We may see the correlation between our thoughts affecting our feelings, which in turn impact our life experience. We want to think good thoughts so that we can live good lives… but where we get stuck is the HOW. How exactly do we change our thoughts? Here is my 3 step process:

1) Notice how you feel

Our feelings are the #1 indicator to whether we are thinking positive thoughts or negative thoughts. If we are feeling pretty good, chances are that our thoughts have been positive, or at the very least neutral. If we are feeling angry, sad, or anxious, it’s very likely that we have hopped on the negative thought train.

2) Pay attention to your thoughts

Once you notice that you are not feeling as good as you would like to feel, it’s time to explore your thought patterns. Start to pay attention to the words you are saying to yourself. This may feel a little bit strange if you have never done it before, but it will get easier the more you do it. Pretend that you have a bird’s eye view of what’s going on in your brain. Become a non-judgmental observer of your thoughts. Start to notice what you are saying to yourself. What phrases do you find yourself repeating over and over again? What are you telling yourself about yourself?

3) Change the script

Once you’ve established your negative thought patterns, it’s time to change them! Creating a new thought pattern is simple; it just takes a little bit of commitment. Create a mantra or affirmation that describes the new thought that you want to have. If you’ve been telling yourself, “I am so miserable” instead start saying, “I find something to smile about everyday.” Instead of thinking, “I’m poor and I have no money.” try, “Money-making opportunities are coming my way.” Instead of, “I hate my body” try “I treat my body with love and respect.” Make your new mantra stick by repeating it to yourself over and over again. Each time you find yourself thinking your old negative thought, replace it with your new mantra.

After following this process for a few days, you will start to feel much better!

I recently used this 3 step process in my own life. I realized that I had been feeling pretty anxious for several weeks. I started to notice that the first thought I had most mornings was, “I have the worst anxiety.” Throughout the day, I found myself repeating different versions of this same thought. I was walking around my daily life telling myself, “I’m so anxious” over and over again, and then I wondered why I was feeling so anxious!

Thankfully, I remembered that my feelings can be influenced by my thoughts. So I consciously started working to change them.

I created a new mantra: “Every day, in every way, I am feeling better and better.” I started repeating my new mantra each time I caught myself thinking about how anxious I was. I went to sleep reciting my mantra. I woke up and repeated it in my mind before I opened my eyes.

For the first couple of days, this took a little bit of effort, as I was still reprogramming my mind. But, by the 3rd day of doing this, I noticed that when I woke up, my first thought was “Every day, in every way, I am feeling better and better.” without my even having to think about it! It was working!

In the days that followed, new, more positive thoughts started replacing my inner dialogue. I started to notice myself saying things like “My life is really good and I’m really lucky.” By changing the one major negative thought that had been consuming me, my other thoughts started to become more positive. And, more importantly, I started to FEEL so much better! This is how I knew that I was on the right track.

Now, that’s not to say that everything is rainbows and butterflies all the time now. But, I’ve remembered that I can change my thoughts. Whenever I notice that I am feeling off, I follow this 3 step process of noticing how I’m feeling, paying attention to how I am talking to myself, and creating a new script. It always helps me feel better!

Have you ever tried to change your own mind before? It may sound a little bit crazy but I promise it works!

If you would like some help reframing your thoughts and creating a more positive life experience, I currently have one opening for a new private coaching client. Send an email to mamabirdwellnest@gmail.com to see if coaching might be right for you!

Wishing you a week full of happy thoughts!

Be well,
Ambar

 

 

A Simple Self Love Challenge!

Love Yourself First

Hi friends!

Do you have trouble putting yourself first? Do you feel guilty for taking time for yourself? Do you spend most of your time taking care of everyone around you, and find yourself with little energy to take care of yourself?

I get it. As women, we are the nurturers, the life-givers, the caretakers. A big part of our role is often to love and look out for the people we most care about.

We all know that in order to be of service to the people who need us, we need to be taking good care of ourselves, yet when it comes down to it, many of us struggle with actually implementing this self love and self care.

February is the month of love, and there is no better time than now to focus on loving yourself!

I’ve created a simple challenge to help you spend the next month in devotion to self love. I want to show you just how simple and easy it can be to start taking action toward treating yourself well, taking care of yourself, and showing yourself a little extra love each and every day.

Step 1: List what you love!

The first thing I want you to do is make a list of 28 things that you love! Make a list of 28 simple pleasures that bring you love and joy! Don’t overthink it; just start writing. Begin each sentence with “I love…” and see where it takes you.

Here is my list to help get you started:

  1. I love going to the beach.
  2. I love snuggling in bed with my husband and daughter.
  3. I love clean sheets.
  4. I love going for nature walks.
  5. I love curling my hair.
  6. I love using natural, organic makeup.
  7. I love being pampered.
  8. I love listening to Dave Matthews Band, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and any classic rock music from the 90s.
  9. I love lighting candles.
  10. I love diffusing essential oils.
  11. I love listening to relaxing music while I cook.
  12. I love making chicken chili.
  13. I love reading.
  14. I love taking my daughter to story time at the library.
  15. I love meditating.
  16. I love doing yoga.
  17. I love being silly with my girlfriends.
  18. I love taking pictures.
  19. I love going out for nice dinners.
  20. I love having family adventures.
  21. I love taking long, hot showers.
  22. I love writing.
  23. I love drinking tea.
  24. I love drinking red wine in a stemless wine glass.
  25. I love chocolate.
  26. I love stripes.
  27. I love having fresh flowers all over my house.
  28. I love date nights with my husband.

Step 2: Get busy DOING what you love!

Now that you have this epic list of simple things that you love, it’s time to step into action and actually start doing them! Choose one thing from your list each day and spend the next 28 days devoted to doing what you love!

It’s that simple! List what you love, and then do what you love! As you can see, the things on my list are not rocket science. They are simple, everyday activities that bring my joy. So often we forget about these joyful, mundane tasks. We think that self love and self care has to be extravagant. We find ourselves wishing for a tropical vacation, counting down the days to the weekend, or hoping for some future plans that will make us feel more relaxed and more joyful. But, we don’t have to wait for some future moment in order to start taking care of ourselves. Our lives are happening RIGHT NOW. Now is the time to focus on loving ourselves. Now is the time to take better care of ourselves. Now is the time to start doing these simple things that we love!

I promise you that if you take each of the 28 days of February to focus on crossing each and every item off of your list, you will be a happier, more joyful person by the end of this month!

I am going to be going through this challenge with the women in my private Facebook group for extra support and accountability! If you want to join us in making February the month of simple, stress-free self love, please join us over in the FB group!

Please feel free to share your love list in the comments below! I can’t wait to see what you come up with!

Wishing you a month full of everything that you love!

Be well,
Ambar

 

How to Take Care of Yourself and Put Yourself First

How to Help Yourself

I have recently been thinking of the Audrey Hepburn quote, “As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”

I had never felt the truth of this statement as much as I have now before I became a mom. I didn’t fully understand selfless, unconditional love, or the fierce devotion I’d have to wanting to help and protect my daughter as much as possible.

At the same time, I also never understood how vital it is to take care of myself, or that the ONLY way to take care of others is by taking care of myself first.

Becoming a mother has taught me what a great helper I am, and it’s also forced me to learn to help myself by taking simple, doable, and consistent actions that make a big difference in my quality of life.

By learning to help myself, and take great care of myself, I am better able to show up in the world as the wife, woman, and mother that I most want to be.

I am currently facing some new stressors in my life. My grandmother, who I am extremely close with had to have emergency surgery and has been in the hospital for almost two weeks. My 90 year old grandfather has been alone in their home, and needs help going back and forth to visit my grandma. I’ve been spending most days at the hospital with them, while also trying to juggle motherhood and all of my other responsibilities, and I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t stressful.

The only thing that’s keeping me sane through this ordeal is my commitment to self care; my dedication to helping myself first.

This is what helping myself first looks like these days:

  • Practicing yoga every morning
  • Spending a little time outdoors each day
  • Eating a healthy breakfast
  • Bringing my own lunch to the hospital
  • Using essential oils to ground me throughout the day whenever I need it
  • Taking a daily break to go for a walk
  • Listening to good music and inspiring podcasts on my drives to and from the hospital
  • Putting away my phone and being fully present with my husband and daughter each night
  • Crying to my husband or a friend whenever I’m feeling particularly burdened
  • Relaxing and reading before bed every night
  • Asking for help when I need it

These activities may seem trivial, and maybe doing one of them by itself wouldn’t have as big of an impact. But the culmination of taking these small moments to take care of myself daily adds up to my feeling grounded, safe, and supported, even during uncertain times.

It is only from this place of being cared for, that I am able to help others. By filling myself up first, I can show up as the patient and loving mother that I most want to be. I can help and support my grandparents as they age. I can be a devoted wife, and a good friend. I can hold more space for my coaching clients and be of greater service to them. I can write meaningful blog posts. I can show up to the world ready to give and ready to help…. But ONLY if I am helping myself first.

This is true for all of us. I would love for you to take some time this week to think about the ways in which you are helping others, and also the ways in which you are helping yourself. Notice if this give and take feels balanced to you. We are here in this world to help one another, but we simply cannot do that to the best of our ability if we are not first helping ourselves.

What can you do to help yourself today?

Please share in the comments below, or reply to this email to speak to me personally!

Take care and have a beautiful week.

Be well,
Ambar

 

P.S. If you are someone who struggles with making self care a priority, I would love to help! I am getting ready to start working with new coaching clients and am offering a free Self Care Strategy Session to anyone who is interested in seeing how life coaching works. I know that this time of year can get a little stressful, and I would love to support you in putting yourself first so that you can have an easeful and peaceful holiday season. Simply send an email to ambar@mamabirdwellnest.com if you would like to claim your free session and we will get it scheduled right away!

 

3 Steps to Bust Through a Bad Mood

How to bust through a Bad Mood

Through the years, I’ve learned many different ways to relieve stress, decrease anxiety, and cope with the stressors of life. You might think that I’m walking around in a little happy bubble all the time, but that’s not the case. I have challenging days just like everybody else, I get into bad moods, and sometimes I have trouble snapping out of them. The most interesting thing I’ve noticed is that the times in which I am feeling particularly stressed or anxious are usually the times when I am most resistant to doing the things that I know will make me feel better!

Things like taking an hour long yoga class or going in a quiet room to meditate are my go-to ideas for getting out of a bad mood and feeling better. But, they are not always conducive to my life. So, I’ve developed a simple 3 step process that I use to clear my energy and bounce back quickly whenever I find myself in a bad mood. The whole process does not take very long, and when I take the time to do it, I find myself feeling better immediately. I wanted to share with you, so that you can give it a try too!

3 Steps to Bust Through a Bad Mood:

1) Breathe

Many times when we find ourselves in stressful situations, our breathing gets shallow. When we are not taking big, full breaths, it sends a panic signal to our brain, that makes us feel even worse! Whenever I am feeling stressed or anxious, the first thing I do is bring my attention back to my breathing. I take deep belly breaths and imagine that my belly is a balloon that I am filling up with air. I breathe in and out slowly, counting to 5 on each inhale and exhale. Bringing the focus back to our breath is the simple first step to feeling better.

2) Feel

When we are in a bad mood, there is usually a reason behind it. It can be a simple irritation or aggravation, or result from weeks of pent up frustration. Instead of trying to forget about the things that are bothering us, it’s best to allow ourselves to feel them out. Take a few moments to try to recognize what you are feeling and try to give a word to it. It might be anger, sadness, guilt, anxiety, or something else. Notice what you are feeling and let yourself feel it. Sometimes I end up crying when I sit with my feelings, and other times I just breathe into them. The important thing is to give them permission to be there and actually FEEL them. (I have another blog post on How to Feel Your Feelings that you might find helpful if this is something that is difficult for you).

3) Move

Now that you’ve focused on your breath and given yourself space to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling, it’s time to move! Our emotions can get stuck in our body and make us feel worse if we don’t do something to get them out. Doing some sort of physical activity is a great way to move that negative energy out of your body. If you have some time at hand, this would be a great time to go for a long run or take your favorite exercise class. If time is limited, I might put on an upbeat, high energy song and have a dance party in my living room. (June and I have made dance parties a part of our regular routine for this very reason!). It’s almost impossible to stay stuck in a bad mood when you’re dancing like a maniac to Pharrell’s “Happy” or Katy Perry’s “Firework”. Other quick ways to move the energy out of your body might be to do 20 jumping jacks, jump on a mini trampoline, or even just hit a pillow. A few minutes is usually all it takes to get things moving and flowing through you.

And, there you have it; 3 simple steps to help you bust through a bad mood. Next time you are feeling a little bit off, I encourage you to take a few minutes to Breathe, Feel, and Move your way to feeling better! Please let me know how this goes for you in the comments below.

Be well,
Ambar

I’m a Wild Dreamer. Are You?

Wild Dreamer

Wild Dreamer

I have a confession to make.

I’m a wild dreamer.

Let me explain…

Earlier this year, I had a wild dream.

I dreamed of a life of fun and freedom.

I dreamed of more time with my daughter.

I dreamed of working for myself and being my own boss.

I decided that the way to pursue these wild dreams, was to leave the stability of my full time job.

This may not sound all that wild to you.

But for me, it was.

You see, my paycheck gave me validation.

My daily routine gave me structure.

My career gave me safety.

But, I’m a wild dreamer.

So I left the familiar in search of the unknown.

And it hasn’t been as easy as I thought it would be. In fact, at times it’s been really freaking hard.

When I left my job, I lost the identity that I associated myself with and defined myself by.

Having a full time job was comfortable. It gave me something to do everyday. It filled my life with meaning. It made me feel like I was contributing to society, and to my household.

Without this outside source of validation, I’ve had to find a new sense of self worth; one that comes from within. And that has been tricky.

There is nothing in this life that I love more than being a mother. But being home with my toddler 24/7 can be intense.

I’ve been bringing my daughter to daycare 2 days a week. I tell myself that she needs and thrives on the socialization… but if I’m honest with myself, the truth is that I also need that break.

Not having my own steady stream of income coming in has also been an adjustment. I’ve always been financially independent, and now I feel like I need to ask my husband for money. This too, has been challenging.

Without a job to define myself by, I’ve had to find my new identity. This part may be the most difficult of all.

I am home with my daughter most of the time, but I’m hesitant to say I’m a stay at home mom.

I work on my blog religiously, but I don’t always think of myself as a blogger.

I coach clients through my private and group coaching programs, but I don’t always think of myself as a life coach.

I write a weekly newsletter, but I don’t always call myself a writer.

Basically, I’ve been playing small.

I’ve been scared to label myself.

I’ve been feeling lost as I figure out this new life stage.

But, I’m a wild dreamer.

And I know that I’m meant to live life on my own terms.

And that means setting an example for my daughter…

By fully living out my life’s purpose.

I know with every ounce of my being that I am here to help and encourage other mothers to find their purpose, and live out their own wild dreams…

So that they can set an example for their own sons and daughters.

We need to show our children that their own wild dreams are theirs for the taking…

And this starts by having the courage to go after our own dreams, hopes, and desires.

The first step to actualizing our dreams is to declare them out loud.

So today, I’m declaring that I’m a wild dreamer, yes, but also…

I am a blogger, I am a life coach. I am a writer.

I am a wild dreamer.

I dream of a life that is more play than work.

I dream of family adventures.

I dream of a marriage based on love, devotion, and romance.

I dream of being the type of mother that my daughter wants to be around.

I dream of time and location freedom.

I dream of playing outside everyday.

I dream of fully inhabiting and enjoying my one wild and precious life.

I dream of stepping out into the world as the blogger, life coach, writer, wife, mother, and woman that I am here to be.

And I’m ready now.

Want to join me?

We are all wild dreamers.

We are the dream weavers, and it’s time to make our dreams a reality.

Your wild dreams may not look like mine.

In fact, they probably don’t.

But I know you have them.

What wild dreams do you dream of?

What do you think about, dream about, yearn for?

What have you been wishing for, perhaps not even admitting to yourself?

What desires are whispering to you, trying to be heard?

Remember, the first step to creating your dreams, is to declare them out loud.

What are your wild dreams?

Please share in the comments below! Let’s support one another in rising up and making our dreams a reality.

Dream big and have a beautiful week.

Be well,
Ambar

 

Stop Waiting for Perfect

Stop Waiting for PerfectEarlier this week, I had an experience that reminded me how important it is to make the most of the present moment, and stop putting off our desires by waiting for the perfect time.

It started on a trip to Trader Joe’s. They always have the best flowers there, and I love having fresh flowers in my home. However, I usually only buy flowers when our house has recently been straightened up and cleaned. We are fortunate enough to have someone that comes to clean for us once a month, and then the rest of the time we keep up with the daily maintenance. As a result of mom life with a toddler, after the first week or two of our house being cleaned, clutter starts to pile up, and crumbs start to creep in over the house. I usually don’t buy flowers during these weeks, because I tell myself I should wait until the house is clean and tidy.

But, this week, I realized that this is a ridiculous way to think. By only buying flowers for the one week a month that my house is perfectly clean, I am depriving myself of having flowers for the remaining 3 weeks! Pretty silly right?

So, I bought the flowers. I came home and arranged them in my favorite pitcher. I cleared all of the clutter off of our dining room table and moved it someplace else. As I set down the flowers, I noticed that my daughter’s little fingerprints were all over the table and chairs, but then she started to call from me from the next room, so I didn’t get a chance to wipe them off. And so, the flowers stayed on the perfectly imperfect table.

And you know what? They are perfectly fine there. I’ve been admiring these flowers every time I walk past them all week. I am sitting at the table enjoying them as I write this blog post. They have served as a little reminder of beauty in my imperfect world.

If I had waited to buy the flowers when my house was clean and perfect, I would just be settling for having a dirty house with no flowers now.

This experience got me thinking, and I started wondering what other things in my life I’ve been putting off, waiting to do them when things are “perfect”. This is something we all do. Does any of this sound familiar to you?:

“I’ll go on more date nights with my husband when our baby is older.”

“I’ll use the good china when I have a party.”

“I’ll wear my new dress when I have somewhere special to go.”

“I’ll quit my job when I have more money saved up.”

“I’ll start my own business when my kids are in school.”

“I’ll go out dancing when I have a partner.”

“I’ll cut my hair short when I lose 10 lbs.”

“I’ll eat healthier when I’m less stressed out.”

“I’ll buy a nicer couch when my children are older.”

“I’ll run my first 5k when I have more time.”

We all do this. And the thing is, by waiting for the perfect moment to do these things that we want to do,  we miss out on enjoying our lives to the fullest RIGHT NOW.

Our lives are happening right now, in this very moment. Your life is what’s happening right now, as you are reading this. When we wait for the perfect opportunity to do the things our hearts desire, we are missing out on getting the most out of our precious lives right now. We are putting off enjoying our lives to the fullest. We are missing out on opportunities to care for ourselves and feel as good as we possibly can. We are saying that we do not deserve to be loving our lives as we are living them.

This has to stop.

There is no perfect moment to go after your dreams and desires. The perfect moment is now.

Stop waiting. Buy the flowers now.

What have you been putting off in your life, waiting for the perfect moment? I would love to hear in the comments below.

Have a beautiful week.

Be well,
Ambar

 

 

 

 

How to Take Responsibility for Yourself and Learn to Love Your Life

How to Take Responsibility for Yourself and Learn to Love Your Life

Hi friends! If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, or you follow me on social media, then you know I’m a pretty positive person. I truly love life and try to always focus on the good stuff.

But, this wasn’t always the case. I have learned to greatly appreciate all of the wonderful things in my life, because I spent many years being stuck in darkness. For many years, I felt like life was just happening to me, and that I was a victim of my circumstances.

It wasn’t until I learned to take responsibility for myself that my life started to change for the better, and little by little I’ve become one of the happiest people I know.

Learning to take responsibility for my life helped me end a dysfunctional relationship and create space for the amazing marriage I now have.

It helped me stop drinking, smoking, and numbing myself from the world, and instead start experiencing life as it is meant to be experienced.

It allowed me to stop making excuses and move to the beach where I always wanted to live.

It lead me to decide that the time was right to become a mother even though it felt out of my comfort zone at the time.

It guided me to start this blog and start doing work to support other women.

It helped me decide that working full time was no longer right for me and guided me to quit my job to focus more on my family and other interests.

Learning to take responsibility for myself has become my guidance system. It has helped me develop trust in myself and my intuition and know that it will never lead me wrong.

But, it is not always easy. Taking responsibility for ourselves requires us to make massive decisions that are not always easy to make. It means taking complete ownership of our lives and deciding that we will not be victims to our circumstances. Many times, it means we have to step outside of our comfort zone and do things that feel hard.

Taking responsibility for yourself is not always about major life changing decisions like making a big move or having a child. It is a decision you make everyday. Taking responsibility for yourself might mean having a difficult conversation, setting some boundaries, or taking better care of yourself. It is about taking ownership over the kind of life you want to live and the way that you want to feel.

Taking responsibility for yourself means knowing that you alone have complete power over your feelings, thoughts, and actions.

I’ve developed a 5 step process for taking responsibility for ourselves and improving our lives. Follow the steps below and you will be well on your way to living the life you desire.

1) Notice how you feel.

Our feelings are our central guidance system. When we feel good, it is because we are on the right track. When we start to feel a little off, it is often because we are not listening to our desires and needs. For me, my go-to feeling is anxiety. Anytime I notice that I am feeling anxious, it is usually a sign that things aren’t working in some aspect of my life. Anxiety is the feeling that comes up most often for me, but for you it might be anger, sadness, or even dissatisfaction. Noticing that you are not feeling as good as you would like to feel is the first step to making positive changes.

2) Pay attention to how you are talking to yourself.

When times get tough, it’s easy to find ourselves wallowing in negativity. Paying attention to the words we use to describe ourselves and our current situation is the next step towards change. Even during challenging times, phrases like “I’m so anxious”, “I feel terrible”, or “This sucks” aren’t particularly helpful. If you find yourself repeating these negative phrases over and over, guess where that will get you? Yep, you will end up feeling anxious, terrible, and stuck in a sucky situation. Watch your words, because the stories we tell ourselves become our reality.

3) Change your words.

Now that we’ve noticed the negative thoughts we’ve been having, and the stories we have been telling yourself, it’s time to switch them into something more proactive. So, instead of saying “I’m so anxious”, you might say “I am managing my anxiety in creative ways.” Instead of “I feel terrible”, you might try, “I find small ways to feel good everyday”, and instead of “This sucks”, you might say “I am doing my best during a difficult situation.” Do you notice how much more empowering these words are? Make these new phrases your mantras, and repeat them to yourself over and over again until you start to believe them.

4) Focus on what you can control.

Many times, when we are facing challenges, we start to feel out of control. Many of life’s biggest challenges are completely out of our control, yet we spend so much time and energy fixating on these things that we cannot change. The best thing to do is to focus on what you CAN control. Even in the most seemingly hopeless situations, there is always something that is within our control. Sometimes, we may not be able to control the things that happen to us, but we can control the way we react, and the ways in which we choose to participate in our lives.

Noticing that there are parts of our lives that we CAN control, and taking ultimate control of them, is the best way to feel better during challenging situations.

5) Make the necessary changes.

At this point, you have recognized that you are feeling a little off, changed your self-talk, and noticed what is not working in your life. Now that you have this awareness, it’s time to make some changes.

For me, many times, the necessary changes that I need to make start with taking better care of myself. No matter what my circumstances, I can always make sure that I take a little bit of time for myself each day, and take good care of myself by meditating, exercising, and eating well so that I don’t make my anxiety even worse. I can talk to a coach, a therapist, or my husband about my feelings instead of keeping them all bottled up inside.

After my self care needs are being met, I am in a stronger mind space to make any bigger changes that need to happen in order for me to live the life of my dreams.

By being purely reactive to life circumstances, we quickly feel hopeless. Being proactive about the things within our control is the only way to live a happy and healthy life.

I have used this 5 step process to get me through many difficult times in life, and I know that they will continue to help me. I hope that this process is helpful to you as well.

Take responsibility for yourself, your feelings, and your actions, and your life will inevitably improve.

Be well,
Ambar

P.S. If you are noticing that you need to make some changes in your life, I would love to work with you to support you in taking the necessary steps. Working with me as a life coach means that you have me in your corner for support and encouragement. A life coach is a non-judgmental person who helps you look at your circumstances in new ways and pushes you to make the changes necessary to live your best life. If this sounds like something you’re interested in, I’d love to be that person for you! Fill out the contact form below, or send me an email to mamabirdwellnest@gmail.com for more information.

 

10 Life Lessons from a Year of Life Coach Training

life lessons from life coach training

This is a special week for me, as I am celebrating my graduation from my year long life coach training program, Mentor Masterclass. This program has been transformational for me. So many things have changed since I began the program last year, that I feel like a different woman, both personally and professionally. I wanted to share the top 10 lessons that I learned from life coach training because I know that they are invaluable lessons that everyone should know.

1) Start before you are ready.
When I started my life coach training program last year, I had a 6 month old baby, was working full time, and was still trying to figure out the ins and outs of motherhood and this new life phase. It did not seem like the perfect time to be taking on an intensive program, but I went for it anyway, and now, one year later, I am a certified life coach! Life gets crazy and we are all busy. If we wait for the perfect time to do the things that we want to do, that time may never come. So start before you are ready. Start now.

2) Set goals. They are the roadmap to success.
Our goals are our roadmap to life. If we don’t know where we want to go, then we won’t know how to get there. Once we decide what our intentions are, we can figure out where to focus our energy, and figure out the steps we need to take to get to our final destination.

3) Surround yourself with people who are where you want to be.
Have you heard the quote that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with? I have found this to be incredibly true. In the past year, I was surrounded by amazing women who were living the life that I aspired to live. Many of them had their own businesses as well as families, and they were figuring out a way to make it all work. They were driven, successful, and living life on their own terms. Being in their company helped me see that if this was possible for them, it’s possible for me too. You are the company you keep. Surround yourself with people that inspire you to be your best self.

4) Where there’s a will there’s a way.
We all have different blocks that hold us back in life. There is always something that we feel is holding us back from living the life we want to be living. We might think that we don’t have enough money, or the right education, or enough self confidence to go after our dreams. We doubt that we are worthy of the lives we deserve. This year, I’ve learned that all we really need is to be willing to show up day after day and take small steps in the right direction. The rest will figure itself out. When I left my job a few months ago, it was really scary. The idea had seemed impossible to me for months. From a financial perspective, it really didn’t make sense, and I wondered if it was irresponsible. But, I was willing to make the change, and I’m figuring the rest out. There are challenging days, but I am so happy that I was willing to choose what was right for me in my family, and that I now get to spend so much more time with my precious daughter. Be willing to follow your heart and make necessary changes, even if they feel scary. Once you are truly willing to change, you will find a way to make it happen.

5) Small steps lead to big journeys.
I signed up for life coach training because I wanted to dive deeper into personal development, and I knew that I wanted to help people. When I enrolled, I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to be an actual life coach, but I knew that I had been through my fair share of challenges in life, had managed to come out the other side, and I wanted to share the tools that I had learned with other people who might be struggling. So, I started taking small steps. I created this blog, and started writing every week. I started teaching yoga to my coworkers, started my wellness circles for new moms, lead meditation groups, and started coaching other women. Now, one year later, I have coached over 30 women and have been blogging every week for the last 8 months. It makes me so happy to be able to share from my experiences and help other people so that they don’t have to suffer. This is only the beginning of my journey, but I am so proud of the small steps that I’ve taken this year. Be consistent, show up every day and keep walking toward your goals, You will be amazed at where you end up.

6) We all have a story to share and you never know who needs to hear your story.
Life is not always easy, and we have all had challenges and life experiences that are unique to us. Many times, we try to hide our past struggles because we feel shame around them. But the truth is, those struggles are what made you strong. If you have overcome something difficult and managed to become a better person as a result, you are a warrior, and your experience should be shared. We all have things that we keep hidden, but by being able to own your story, you empower others around you who might be going through something similar. Be brave enough to show your truth. You never know who you might be helping with your story.

7) We are all more alike than we think.
Being in community with 40 women from different walks of life showed me that we are all more alike than we think we are. Our stories might be different, but our feelings and desires are very similar. We all want to love and be loved. We all want to contribute to the world and leave it better than we found it, whether that be by the work we do, the relationships we have, or the children we raise. As women, we are nurturers, we are sensitive, and we are cyclical beings. We have ups and downs, we are emotional, we are overjoyed, we are messy, we are so much to so many people. We are all alike, and most of all, we all need each other. Take time to acknowledge the people around you. Smile, be kind, hold the door for a stranger. Treat others the way that you would want to be treated. Learn to see yourself in the eyes of those around you.

8) Know when to ask for help.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned this year is that I can’t do it all alone. I’ve always considered myself a very independent person and had developed a story that I don’t need anyone’s help and I can do everything on my own. I’ve learned that it’s just not true. Sometimes I need help. We all do. Knowing when to ask for help and allowing yourself to be supported by others is one of the smartest things you can do for yourself and your wellbeing.

9) Take everything personally.
In our everyday lives, it can become really easy to blame the people around us for our life experiences. We blame our husbands not being home enough for us feeling overwhelmed. We blame our families for making us feel guilty if we don’t visit or call enough. We blame our children for acting up and driving us crazy. We blame our friends for being moody and putting us on edge. What if instead of blaming everyone around us, we chose to take 100% responsibility for ourselves, our actions, and our feelings? It might mean that the reason we feel overwhelmed is not because our husbands aren’t home enough, but because we haven’t chosen to ask for help. It may mean that our families aren’t making us feel guilty for not visiting enough, but that we have created an idea in our heads that we “should” be visiting our family more, when in reality we don’t want to. It might mean that our children acting up is driving us crazy because we aren’t taking enough time for self care. It might mean that we are on edge around our friend because we aren’t being honest about what we need from her. These might be some harsh realizations. But by learning to take everything personally, and figure out what it says about you, instead of those around you,  you put yourself back in the driver’s seat of your life.

10) Celebrate everything.
This year, I have learned to take time to celebrate all of my accomplishments, big and small. Celebrating helps to keep us accountable for reaching our goals. It shows us that we are someone who is capable of doing great things and teaches us to honor ourselves and our achievements. By taking time to celebrate ourselves, we are programming our minds to keep doing things that are cause for celebration. Best of all, it feels good! Next time you reach a goal, instead of brushing it aside like it was no big deal, take time to celebrate yourself! Acknowledge your hard work and praise yourself for a job well done. Ask yourself what you did to get here and why that was important to you. And then, reward yourself!

I hope you find these lessons useful.

Wishing you a week full of celebration!

Be well,
Ambar

P.S. In honor of my graduation from Mentor Masterclass, I’m opening up 3 spots for private coaching at a special introductory rate. Please contact me at mamabirdwellnest@gmail.com if you are interested in learning more about life coaching and finding out if this is right for you! xo

P.P.S. If you are interested in learning more about becoming a life coach, I would be happy to talk to you about this amazing program. As you can see, it has been a life changing experience for me, and I can’t recommend it enough. 🙂